Last week we left off on yet another classically Bachelor/ette dramatic ending with no rose ceremony. Picking up right where we left off when Kupah was still on his tirade, Kaitlyn went outside to confront him and hopefully try to calm him down. He apologized to her face and then as soon as Kaitlyn went back inside, instantly started disrespecting her. Good riddance, Kupah! Kaitlyn addressed the rest of the guys, along with her reasoning for sending Kupah home, but then it was time for the dreaded rose ceremony. Cory (no “e”) was sent home, but not without some tears from Bachelorette Kaitlyn.
After another long night at the cocktail party, the guys probably weren’t expecting two sumo wrestlers to wake them up, yet, that’s not an unusual alarm clock on the Bach series. On this group date (with Chris, Clint, Tony, Joe, JJ and Shawn), the guys were going to do some sumo wrestling of their own (bums out and all!!). Apparently Joe was showing a little too much of what he has to offer. For Tony, referring to himself as a “healer” is apparently code for “effing crazy” because after his fight with the wrestler, he walked off all pissed but then told Kaitlyn that he didn’t like having to be aggressive every date but wanted to do something “peaceful” (then whyyyyy are you freaking out at her?!). When JJ tried to break it up, Tony just got even more confrontational, but JJ was really just poking the bear with the “eyes of a child and soul of a gypsy.” Kaitlyn calmed Tony down, but she gave him the option to opt out of the rest of the wrestling date (which he did). The rest of the guys, however, were definitely game and showed up for a round robin sumo wrestling match, once again baring almost everything (but not before Kaitlyn went adorably up against a sumo wrestler first). Clint won and took a selfie with some random chicks, while Tony continued his very non-zen rant back at the house (yeesh, he’s exhausting) until he finally decided to go back home to his bonzai trees, but not without saying goodbye to Kaitlyn and the “circus” that is The Bachelorette. The rest of the date was just with the five guys. While Chris was checking Kaitlyn for cavities, JJ was planning his time while Clint was planning on “hanging back” to see if she came to him. She did some smooching with Shawn and he got a rose out of it. Clint was bummed out that Kaitlyn didn’t come to him, but she was upset he didn’t approach her. He admitted to the cameras that Kaitlyn may not be the girl for him, but that he’s still into some of the relationships with the guys, specifically JJ, hinting that the rumours we heard may be true (hey, the point is to find love–whatever that means, GO FOR IT!).
The one-on-one date was with Ben Z. and the two had to put their communication skills to the test and really trust one another through this weird freaky escape maze because there were PIGEONS involved (GIRL, I GET YOU. BIRDS ARE THE DEVIL). Ben Z. was adorable, letting Kaitlyn hold him the whole time (yet, we had to sit here all alone freaking the eff out) as they had to solve this clue to get out of the dark terrifying hell-chamber. There were maggots, cockroaches and a scorpion (AND SNAKES), but somehow they found some time to kiss in the dark and Ben Z. was the perfect hero and got them out of there. After that nightmare, they needed some romance and went back to Kaitlyn’s pad for some ‘za and getting-to-know-each-other stuff, including more kissing IN THE HOT TUB that ended with Ben Z. getting a rose.
Jonathan, Ben H., Joshua, Jared, Ryan and Tanner were on the next (and MOST AWKWARD) group date (EVER). Meeting the six guys at an elementary school, the group was going to teach some unfortunate children about sex ed (smh–literally had my head in my hands during this scene) to prove to Kaitlyn that they can talk about sex because it’s an important part of a relationship and it’s a way of “separating the men from the boys.” (WHAT PARENTS LET THEIR KIDS DO THIS?!!?!) Cringe. Factor. The most inappropriate date we’ve ever seen. Ben H. kinda saved the moment and made it slightly less awkward, but all-in-all, not something fun to watch. The night ended on a high note, kissing and talking to some guys, which totally worked to Ben H.’s advantage, who got the rose of the date.
Back at the mansion, the love story between Clint and JJ was developing, but ultimately, they both wanted to stick around for a little longer to get to know one another (adorable, but kinda unfair to Kaitlyn, no?). Clint immediately pulled Kaitlyn to the side to try and solidify his position with a kiss because he had his “power socks” on and “had to abuse it.” Things were getting weird and tense with JJ and Clint keeping an eye out for some tattletales (JJ, what else do you expect to happen when you’re macking on someone else in the house?), which didn’t matter because Kaitlyn had heard enough and was ready to send him packing before the nonexistent rose ceremony (again).
Coming up roses: Ben Z., Clint, JJ, Jared, Ben H., Shawn, Jonathan, Tanner, “Cupcake” Chris, Ryan, Justin, Ian, Joshua, Joe, Corey and Tony (from last week); Shawn, Ben Z., Ben H… (cut short, again)
Kiss count: Chris, Shawn, Ben Z., Ben H., Jared, Clint, Justin (Episode “ 7; Season “ 14)
Cry count: Still none… where are the crybabies?
Bachelors to watch: Ben Z., Shawn B. and Chris