Well, we made it you guys. It’s the end of yet another season of The Bachelorette and while there’s been a lot of drama and a lot of lunch meat this season, it was all worth it to get to this moment: JoJo’s final rose where she had to choose who she’d spend the
next three months rest of her life with, Jordan or Robby. But, before we get to that final rose, here are the highlights from the “emotional and dramatic” season finale.
1. Jordan was the first one to meet JoJo’s family and while it went really well (even though JoJo’s mom had some reservations about Jordan simply because he’s so likeable, which she told her daughter with a glass of wine in hand, natch), he didn’t ask her dad for her had in marriage, which is inevitably going to come back and bite him in the butt.
2. Just when we thought that Jordan had it in the bag, Robby met JoJo’s parents and gave them a speech that even won our Jordan-loving hearts. The nail in the coffin? Asking not just her dad but also her mom for JoJo’s hand in marriage. Ugh. Well done, Robby. Well done.
3. In the post-meet-the-parents pow-wow, JoJo’s parents told her that they liked both guys, but hinted that Robby may be the winner in their books because he asked both of them for her hand. JoJo immediately went on the defensive for Jordan and even snapped at her mom (she is all of us at some point). After their conversation, she was even more confused about who to choose and we were confused as to why her once-crazy brothers were being so docile to the new guys.
4. When Robby and JoJo got some solo time for a date, Robby relayed his chat with her parents. They did some swimming, did some smooching and Robby gave some speech about burnt meatloaf or something. Later in their date he gave her some pictures of their time together and they talked all mushy to each other and it really looked like Robby had the edge.
5. Before Jordan and JoJo’s last date, JoJo was wondering why he didn’t ask her parents for their blessing and she finally asked him point-blank (after baiting him with some questions like “what did you and my dad talk about?”). He gave an honest, answer that was entirely frustrating, stating that he didn’t want to ask for their blessing until he knew it was going to be him. And just like that he handed the final rose to Robby.
6. After another uncomfortable conversation with JoJo that left her feeling even more confused about his commitment, Jordan called her parents to ask for their blessing as he got ready to go down for the final rose and “get on a knee” (which is, apparently, what proposing is called). He sent JoJo a very nice note in a very nice card while we hummed the other JoJo’s “Too Little Too Late”.
7. Robby also sent JoJo a love note, but addressed in Ms. Fletcher and wrote it on a piece of paper ripped out of a notebook. He also wore very tight pants, even by Robby’s standards. It was all very uncomfortable and we secretly (not-so-secretly) hoped that combination would lose him the rose.
8. Robby was the first one to roll up in the limo and for a moment we actually thought he was going to be the one. He started with his little spiel and it almost looked like JoJo was going to let him get down on one knee (which is something we were hoping to see, purely to know how stretchy his pants really are), but he got only a few mushy words out when she stopped him and ripped his heart out of his chest.
9. In the most uncomfortable breakup ever, JoJo busted out the “I wanted it to be you” line between sobs while Robby just shut down asking himself out loud “why?” Well, Robby. It might have something to do with the pants. It might have also been your pink tie. Maybe JoJo just really wants Olivia Munn to be at her wedding. Who can say for sure?
10. In a surprising turn of events, JoJo let Jordan go home before he even said hello. JK, he totally proposed, but not before she told him that she loves him like a thousand times and then they said it a thousand more times after JoJo said yes to his proposal. Aw, another Bachelor match.
After the final rose
Arguably one of the best parts of each season is seeing the jilted castoffs see their exes again. Robby asked JoJo why he waited until the last minute to tell him and JoJo was far too perky when she gave her noncommittal answer that she didn’t know until then. Chad tried to campaign to be the next Bachelor and JoJo said what we were all thinking: “Not Chad.” Jordan addressed the family drama with his brother and he was just not having it. He handled it with class and moved past it and then because Chris Harrison likes to make shit awkward, he asked Ben and Lauren to give JoJo and Jordan advice on how to date now that they’re in the spotlight. Ugh. To round off the night, we got a good look at the new season of Bachelor in Paradise, premiering tonight, which Chris Harrison not-so-affectionately called a “trainwreck.” Follow us on Twitter and stay tuned for our recap as we mock it all!