1. JoJo took Chase on the first date of the week, giving him some solo time since he didn’t get any last week. The two went to do some yoga, but, to be honest, as someone who practices, this is unlike any yoga I’ve ever seen. After they effectively dry humped and had their “angergasms,” they talked about marriage and Chase got a rose and then some other live band played and they danced, because it’s The Bachelorette.
2. When the group date card arrived with 12 names on the list (including everyone’s favourite carnivore, Chad), the toolbag made a comment about not wanting to be on the date (with 11 other guys) and everyone freaked out on him. Granted, he should just be grateful for time with JoJo, but like we kinda get it…
3. The group date kicked off with the group watching what we can only call a fauxgasm and then all the guys had to tell a group of strangers (plus JoJo and each other) some of their sexual experiences (nightmare), but to Evan it was “just another day at the office.”
4. Evan went up and told a “cautionary tale about the use of steroids,” effectively calling out Chad and his protein addiction. When it was Chad’s turn to go up, he brought JoJo up with him and tried to kiss her, marking his territory like a cat peeing everywhere and then THIS HAPPENED:
“The Greatest Disaster of Mankind!” – Alex #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/ZJ8byaC2pe
” The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) June 7, 2016
5. After that, #Chadageddon hit the fan and when all the guys went to the back room, Chad actually shoved Evan and grabbed his shirt. Yup, things escalated reeeeeal quick. Later in the group date, Chad tried to get some time with JoJo but she was chatting with some other guy so he had to go and pout in a corner and was a baby about it. 6. Evan then went and tried to confront Chad about his ripped shirt by asking “Why are you here?” warranting facepalm reactions from viewers across the globe.
7. Evan gave JoJo an ultimatum that he wants to leave if Chad’s staying, then somehow Evan got a rose and Chad lost his shit in front of JoJo. Get this guy a snack. 8. Finally after 88 minutes (yes, 88), we moved onto the Chad-free solo date between James T. and JoJo. The two of them went swing dancing and they were actually adorable together (even if James wasn’t great with the dancing part). This little slice of heaven was interrupted when we went back to the house to see the newly instated security guard spying on Chad.
This date seems like it’s about to be really cute, but can we go back to THIS for a sec??? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/ZFziJpRiw9 ” Bustle (@bustle) June 7, 2016
9. Daniel and Chad had a heart-to-heart conversation that went something like this:
Daniel: “Let’s pretend you’re Hitler.”
Chad: “Let’s not pretend I’m Hitler.”
Daniel: “K, let’s pretend you’re Donald Trump. Or Mussolini. Whatever.”
10. Evan went and told Chris Harrison what had transpired with Chad and then Chris confronted Chad about it and, instead of removing him, left him with “Now’s your chance to go settle it.” Wait, wut?
In true Bachelor form, we were left with a “to be continued,” so stay tuned for tomorrow’s “dramatic” follow-up.
Bonus! Wells made us fall even harder for him with this little story moment:
Everyone has been asking about my @bacheloretteabc threesome story. Here it is…. #teamwells @carlthebloodhound squeaky toy in the background. #bachelornation #thebachelorette
A video posted by Wells Adams (@wellsadams) on