Wedding season is upon us, and if you’re a twenty-something you’re probably headed to at least a handful of nuptial celebrations this summer and maybe even—gasp—a bridesmaid too. But how do you deal with those impending Bridezillas? Especially if they’re one of your long-time friends who has asked you to stand up with them while they say their vows (or maybe you’re just the right height for photos and would look good in their shade of pink so that’s why you were really chosen)? Not every bride will be totally in control of her emotions, so we've put together a few tips on how to deal with a potential bridezilla:
Remember it’s not your day
While it may seem like she’s being entirely unreasonable with some of the details, remember that everyone reacts differently when under stress and most people only plan on getting married once. Unless you’ve also recently planned a wedding (especially one on a budget with fussy relatives), then you have no clue what she’s going through and your main job is to sit there and be supportive while your bride-to-be friend freaks out over flowers and seating arrangements. And if you have planned a wedding, offer some helpful suggestions, but pipe down if it's not wanted. Bottom line: it’s her day and she just wants it to be as close to perfect as possible, so cut her a bit of slack.
Offer some help—and mean it
Maybe your bestie bride is freaking the eff out because she has a lot to do and doesn’t really have a lot of time or help, so offer to help in any way that you can—but actually mean it when you do. Tell her when you’re free and what you’re best at—maybe it’s balancing a budget or you can lend your graphic design and crafting skills for some affordable and DIY invitations, or maybe you’re just a kickass cake-taster. If she’s an I-want-to-do-it-all-by-myself bride then offer to chauffeur her around while she runs errands and show up with her favourite coffee to go. Chances are the genuine offer will soften her right up and she’ll be a lot calmer just knowing she has someone there to help.
Talk it out
If she’s being so unbearably monstrous and you seriously can’t deal with it anymore, then approach your friend and talk it out. If you really want to maintain your friendship and walk out of this whole wedding hooplah as close as you went in, then you owe it to her to let her know how you feel instead of passive aggressively internalizing it and making things worse. Sit her down and explain to her as camly as possible how you feel. If she’s really your friend then she’ll understand and you guys can hug it out and get drunk off cheap wine watching Bride Wars and if not, maybe it’s best for both of you if you bow out of the wedding party and just go as a guest. If the issues are small and you’re just projecting your own anger/jealousy/whatever onto her, then get your sh*t together and be happy for your friend.