Bachelor in Paradise Episode 5 Recap: Three’s Company

When we left last night’s episode, Graham was having second thoughts after AshLee offered him the rose. He sort of just left, Michelle went after him hoping to calm him down as he was having an apparent anxiety attack from the news Michelle had given him not long before. AshLee stood there waiting for him to come back instead of being the good girlfriend she apparently is and going after him to make sure he’s okay. After a few minutes away, AshLee called him back up, and in spite of his anxiety attack and all of the information, he still said yes. Of course, this time it made Lacy physically sick and she had to dart out to puke. When Lacy still wasn’t feeling better, Marcus went with her to the hospital. Marcus totally stepped up (unlike AshLee) and held her hand the entire way to the hospital.

After another interruption, the rose ceremony got started again and the next three roses were obvious yes’s, with secured spots for Cody from Michelle, Rob from Sarah and Jesse from Jackie, which meant Marquel and Kalon were on their way home. While Kalon was obviously getting sent home, Marquel was once again the sent home without a girl on his arm (maybe he’ll be the next Bachelor?!). Back at the hospital, Lacy wasn’t doing so well, but Marcus was literally by her side the entire time.

After an eventful night, everything was starting to get back to normal, particularly Clare who was feeling smitten with Zack and being all romantical with all of the couples in Mexico, which of course meant another lady was going to show up to stir the pot a bit more. Christy from Juan Pablo’s season walked up the beach, date card in hand and immediately stole some of the attention from the guys. Before Christy had a chance to select a guy for her date, Sarah took the opportunity to let her know what the couple situation was to avoid making anything super awkward. Of course, Sarah’s plan was foiled when Christy went with her “first pick” Zack—despite the fact that he’s sort of with Clare. Zack started to second guess everything, even after they went through this with Clare only days ago, but after everything, he turned Christy down in hopes of seeing where things really are with Clare. Afterwards, Christy tried her hand with Jesse, who happily accepted. They went on a day date, walking through the town, eating chocolate and drinking tequila. In spite of Jesse’s reputation, they seemed to be having a good time in a casual way. Christy started asking Jesse if he felt guilty because he got a rose and isn’t really attached to anyone, but he said Jackie would have done the same thing, had the tables been turned. Christy confided in him a bit about her cheating “douchebag” exes, and even asked if Jesse had ever done anything like that—which he obviously didn’t own up to, making Christy think that he was being an entirely nice and genuine guy.

Back at the house, there was another date card—this time for Sarah, who oooobviously picked Rob. She was looking forward to having a romantic night with him—especially since he hadn’t tried to put the moves on her yet. Claiming he wasn’t a super romantic guy, Rob did pull out the cheesy stops including toasting to “another night in Sarahdise.” They’re basically perfect for one another and it was apparent when they both leaned down to get something and knocked heads like two little adorable nerds. Having some concerns that she might be stuck in the friend zone, Sarah and Rob went for a dip, though sadly no kissing yet. There was some cuddling and talking and hand-shaking and after a really awkward “Can I kiss you?” from Rob, he finally sealed the deal.

Back at the house, Cody was bench-pressing Michelle and painting her toes while a much better Lacy was watching with some concern that he might be coming on a bit too strong. Cody even told Michelle it was her “or no one,” which made her a bit concerned that maybe things were moving too fast or they wouldn’t work out. Even though a couple of days ago Michelle was desperate to be with anyone, she was having some serious concerns that he might be moving too fast. Jesse and Christy returned from their date pretty wound up and just wanting to party. While they were having their fun making out, Jackie was sitting on the sidelines just wanting a straight answer as to whether or not she should invest her time in him anymore. Clare and Zack were chatting about the whole Christy date situation, but Zack was having doubts as to whether turning Christy down was the right idea—and even dropped the bomb on Clare that maybe a relationship may not be the right move for them. He was honest in telling her he thought things had moved too fast, which set Clare off. He was trying to be calm and honest and open with her, but Clare being Clare jumped all over it and basically gave him and all or nothing comment and then went to bed, leaving him with his thoughts. Clare went off to the washroom sobbing, and then Michelle was to the rescue again trying to figure out what happened. Clare ran off into the jungle having a full on conniption that she was right back where she was with JP.

While all of the couples were snuggled up snoozing, Clare told Michelle she wanted to leave because she didn’t come for the drama and that’s all she was being given. While Zack was sleeping, Crazy Clare came in like a hurricane and woke him up to talk. Clare was surprisingly calm the way she explained she’d actually come for love and felt like a bomb had been dropped when he told her he wasn’t sure, but that she was leaving and her bags were already packed. Zack sputtered a bit when he tried to semi-change her mind (though his fight was hardly convincing), and Clare left anyway, on a seriously emotional note. And even though we’ve had headaches that have lasted longer than their relationship, Clare was a hot mess and headed home, hopefully taking the drama with her.

After Clare left and the guys and girls were finally on even playing ground, free-spirited Lucy showed up and was surprisingly clothed (even though Cody suspected she wasn’t wearing anything underneath her her dress). But it didn’t take long for Lucy to shed her shell (and by shell I mean clothes) and asked Jesse to accompany her on her date while she was stark naked. But before that they went skinny-dipping (well, Lucy had the skinny). Even though Christy and Lucy were friends from JP’s season, Christy was bummed the only guy she liked was going on a date with someone who is very comfortable being naked—and a guy who enjoyed the nudity. Jesse and Lucy went to Chichen Itza (if you’ve never been, GO) to see the Mayan ruins, but Jesse was a perfect douche and said that he didn’t know where to go from there since he’d already seen her naked.

Back at the house, Michelle got the date card, and instantly chose Cody since she’d been having so much fun with him—though she was still concerned they were moving too fast. Arriving at a hotel, Michelle and Cody had a photo shoot—that basically seemed like engagement photos—which made Michelle freak out even more that things were going speedily, but when Cody started sweet-talking that he’d been waiting years for someone like her, her heart basically melted (as did ours). Putting Michelle in even more of a sticky situation, the “clothes” that she got to change into was a wedding gown. After her first wedding didn’t work out, the prospect of having a photo shoot in a wedding dress was making her freak the eff out. But she pulled herself together for the big day—er, photo shoot—and showed up looking like a real life bride, making Cody fall in love sooooo hard. Michelle tried to make it more casual, but it seemed like Cody was really just on the next level—not like they were on their first date.

AshLee got another date card and didn’t even really ask Graham, so they went together, and seemingly everything was back to normal. Arriving at a race track, AshLee was feeling really nervous going too fast—on the track… clearly she’s fine moving fast in a relationship. But they both went for rides and AshLee was a good sport about everything and made Graham even think she would be a safe enough driver for their kids… Weird how things change. Christy was panicking because everyone was coupled up, leaving her sitting and sipping solo and was upset because “there’s so much booze and no one is drinking it!” Lacy and Marcus were being seriously adorable and Marcus even dropped the love bomb on her, which made her heart skip a beat and awarded some smooching on the beach. When Lucy and Jesse got back after some serious making out, everyone was down on the beach by the bonfire and Lucy lied through her teeth to Christy that she didn’t kiss Jesse—which she did. Christy had clearly had some booze and was being a little bratty that maybe Lucy had something else with Jesse that she didn’t. Taking it seriously to heart, she went to talk to Jesse to see where he was at, even saying she might want to go home before she got sent home. Clearly drunk, Jesse and Christy started making out on the couch and then moved the party to the bedroom where things were getting pretty intense and just then “down for anything” Lucy showed up to join/crash the party.

The cocktail party started up, putting Jesse in a bit of a sticky situation since he stuck it in two girls in the same night—or at least that’s what we’re led to believe. Zack wanted to take the chance to move on from the drama with Clare and took the opportunity to chat with Jackie who felt like she wasn’t safe since she wasn’t paired up with anyone. After an honest talk, it seemed as though Jackie was secured a spot from Zack. While everyone was trying to figure out the whole Christy-Jesse-Lucy love triangle, Christy and Jesse sat down to talk while Jesse tried to decide who he would give his rose to. But wanting to secure her spot, Lucy pulled Jesse aside and decided to scheme against Christy and swing the vote in her favour.

Rose ceremony time was tense, with one girl guaranteed to go home. The couples were pretty obvious and Lacy, the expert on the relationships in the house, narrated how great everyone was—except AshLee and Graham, which just “disgusts” her because he’s so oblivious to her crap. When Marcus gave Lacy the rose, it was done with a speech that sounded like a proposal and ended in a kiss that made pretty much everyone roll their eyes. But when Jesse stepped up to bat, we had no clue who he’d pick, but it seemed as though Lucy’s scheming was for naught, because Christy got the rose and Lucy was sent home, saying it was Christy who lost because Jesse is actually a jerk.

Coming up roses: Sarah (from Rob), AshLee (from Graham), Michelle (from Cody), Lacy (from Marcus), Jackie (from Zack), Christy (from Jesse).

Paradise pairings:  Lacy & Marcus, Clare & Zack, Christy & Jesse, Sarah & Rob, Lucy & Jesse, Michelle & Cody, AshLee & Graham, Lucy-Jesse-Christy

Kiss count:  Clare & Zack, Sarah & Rob, Christy & Jesse, Lacy & Marcus, Lucy & Jesse (Episode-5; Season-19)

Late-night date count:  Does a mé©nage é  trois count? – Lucy, Jesse & Christy (Episode-1; Season-2)

Cry count: Clare, Christy (Episode-2; Season-12)

Catfight count: None (Episode-0; Season-1)

Tags: Bachelor in Paradise, the bachelor, the bachelorette

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