8 F*cked Up Things That Happened on Bachelor in Paradise: Season 3, Episode 9

We made it, team! This season of Bachelor in Paradise is coming to a close and we’re equal parts sad and relieved. But, we have to admit, for a two-part season finale, part one was a bit of a snoozer. Let’s go back, shall we?

1. Tiara the “chicken enthusiast” came to Paradise and with her the perfunctory date card. Nick immediately started chatting her up, but instead of trying to weasel himself on a date with her, he managed to convince Tiara to give the date card to him so he could take Jen instead. If we didn’t already know that he’s the next Bachelor and that things really don’t work out despite him telling Jen he’s “all in,” it’d be pretty cute.

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2. Izzy got dumped by Brett, who told her that he wanted to give his rose to Lauren, prompting Izzy to realize what a mistake she made letting Vinny go (DUH). She called him from the car saying that she knew how dumb she’d been, but wanted him back. Vinny, the respectable guy that he is told her that he just couldn’t do it (even though we’ve seen pictures of them together since SO WHAT’S GOING ON, VINNY?).

3. Tiara the “chicken enthusiast” ate a plate of chicken wings with a weird amount of enthusiasm.

4. Wells was the hot ticket item as Jami, Ashley and Shoshanna were all gunning for a rose. Wells smooched the first two, but it was Shoshanna that finally made the connection that she probably wasn’t getting a rose and sent herself rose.

5. During the rose ceremony, Brett decided that he couldn’t give his rose to Lauren, so he pulled the plug (sorry) and went home. Wells gave his rose to Ashley, leaving Jami to head home alone.

6. As the remaining five couples were gearing up for their final fantasy suite dates, Ashley seemingly considered giving Wells her v-card (she tweeted later that she’d never actually do that), but Wells decided there wasn’t enough between them for an overnight date and sent both of them home.

7. Grant and Lace got matching “grace” tattoos.

8. All the remaining couples made it to the fantasy suites and dropped some l-bombs (even Nick, which was a little underwhelming considering the spoiler). Josh talked about how excited he is to meet Amanda’s kids and we just couldn’t help but wonder how he’s going to deal when she has to give them attention because, like, they’re kids.

Until tomorrow!

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