Guys. Get ready. This is going to be a rough night.
1. After her chat with Ashley, Caila decided to take herself out of the mix and head home. She told Jared about it and he didn’t seem to quite grasp the affect that Ashley is having on their relationship. Jared wanted to come with her, but wanted to talk to Ashley about it first (ugh). Caila just wanted to leave right then and there while Ashley went on and on about how she did this to protect Jared and that Caila just wants attention (double ugh).
2. Jared actually confronted Ashley and was visibly getting pissed (finally). Ashley tried to back herself out of it and put the shit all on Caila (ugghhhhhh) but Jared SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN and pretty much lost his shit on Ashley (but then, of course, had to console her when she started crying).
3. In a weird turn of events, Jared followed Caila and she didn’t seem to content… Hmm.
4. Wells came back from his date and seemed to make the decision that he’s going to date both Jami and Ashley and Ashley seemed weirdly okay with it? To make matters even worse, in came Shoshanna (who I swear didn’t speak a lick of English last season) with eyes for him and him alone.
5. Lauren H. came in and shook things up for some of the couples, especially when Jen and Jami pushed her into Brett, who’s still with Izzy, who went on and on about how different she feels with him versus Vinny (RIP VIZZY FOREVER). Brett, Lauren, Wells and Shoshanna went on a double date that confused things for the semi-attached guys in tow.
6. We saw a really gross make-out session between Carly and Evan and Evan had a boner, which is great because he’s in the business of boners, but it was all very uncomfortable on every level.
7. Amanda got a date card and her man for some pizza and wine (and, inevitably, moaning) and talked to him about all the crap going on around them, but underlined the fact that she’s confident in their relationship and that she’s not worried about what other people are saying. They watched some fireworks, kissed a lot and once away the super-sweaty charmer got his way.
8. Wells kissed three different women in a day, including, in the words of Ashley, “a random girl from Canada and a Russian hooker,” but still couldn’t seem to choose who he was going to keep around.
We don’t always tune into the after-show, but tonight promised some interesting info.
First up: Caila and Jared stayed together for a whole six weeks after they left together, but inevitably broke up. Caila divulged only a few details, but essentially the giant crying wedge named Ashley came too far in between them.
Next up: We have a new Bachelor and it’s not who you think. If you had money on sexy Luke being the guy to win over, you lost all your cash. Since eighth time’s the charm, Nick (yes, NICK) is the new Bachelor. The producers through us for a serious loop this time around and while we’re not sure he’s the best pick, it’s sure to make for an interesting season. If you’re not convinced (like me), just look at this: