The Bachelor franchise certainly knows how to start an episode with a bang. Remember when Michelle K left before the rose ceremony last week, claiming that there was no one there for her to fall in love with? According to Chris Harrison, that wasn’t quite the case. Apparently, before the season officially started, everyone was staying in a hotel where Michelle began a… er… friendship… with someone in the adjoining room, which led to a bit more. When Chris went to confront her after the rose ceremony, cameras in tow, she slammed the door in his face. A producer finally chatted with Michelle, where she said she had gotten close to a crew member named Ryan and they had developed quite strong feelings for one another—seems innocent enough that love can happen at any time with anyone—but after Michelle left the rose ceremony and went back to the hotel to meet Ryan it got a little messy. When they were together, they allegedly heard a knock on the door, Ryan panicked, going to hide on the balcony (about 25 ft. above the ground), but instead he jumped off the balcony, breaking both of his ankles on impact (dumbass). The irony? His last name is Putz. SMH.
Anyway, back to Paradise… Clare and Lacy were having a deep (as deep as they can get) conversation about Marcus giving Lacy the rose, and how it would make Rob feel. Despite Rob’s feelings, Lacy was ecstatic that Marcus had given her the rose, putting the two of them in the “couples” category in the house. But just then, another guy was added to the mix—Chris Bukowski showed up (always crashing the party) with a date card, no doubt coming to stir up some trouble. With a notoriously questionable reputation, most of the girls were already questioning his motives—except for Elise who apparently only cared how he smelled. Chris B. had the first date card of the episode, and instantly turned his attention to Clare. Clare, the eternal optimist, was willing to look past Chris B.’s reputation to see how he is with her, not wanting any preconceptions to ruin her date. While the two got couples’ massages, Rob was having a hard time watching Lacy and Marcus canoodling on the beach. And just when Rob thought it couldn’t get any worse, Lacy and Marcus started making out on the beach, further fuelling the love triangle in the house. The next date card popped up and was awarded to Marcus, who was obviously going to take Lacy, who gladly accepted with a couple more kisses. Back on Clare and Chris B.’s date, Chris asked Clare what she’d heard about him already and tried to clear his name, claiming that he was past his womanizing—especially if he found the right woman (just a line?). After their massages, the two went splashing in the ocean and just enjoyed life.
Although Elise and Dylan hadn’t gotten a date card just yet, Elise was falling in love with him and claimed that they didn’t even need a date card—they could make their own [date]. But, it didn’t seem like Dylan was feeling the same way, feeling smothered and like he was losing out on a chance to meet other people. Dylan said he would be fine if Elise went out on a date with another guy, but Elise was a little defensive, saying that he was just scared because it was the real deal. Oh, Dylan… be careful what you wish for.
Marcus and Lacy went on their date, and though Lacy could see a future with him, she wanted to see where he was at after his breakup with Andi. Marcus said he did fall in love and was skeptical coming into Paradise, but that changed when he met Lacy (awwww) and wanted to stay there to be with her. Truthfully, these two make an adorable couple and we’re kind of gunning for them. But back at the house, the rest of the crew was having some YOPO time (you only Paradise once), filled with drinking, dancing and som flirting. Though Clare felt like she’d had a connection with Chris B., Chris seemed to have already moved on, especially when a tipsy-sounding, shit-disturbing Elise went smooching and swimming (and then some) with Chris B. Clare felt the burn a little bit, especially after his whole spiel of being misunderstood and all that jazz, but made it pretty clear he was NOT getting her rose. Sarah had warned Elise about trying to make Dylan jealous—particularly with the likes of Chris B.—but clearly her words were ignored.
The next day, Elise tried to defend her actions to Michelle M., though Michelle seemed to understand that Dylan pushed her away. On the flip side, Lacy chatted Chris up about his night with Elise and seemed content that he’d made a connection so quickly. When the prospect of telling Dylan was brought up, Elise started crying, already seeming to regret what she did, though this gave her a wakeup call that she really wanted to be with Dylan. When Elise approached Dylan, he said he felt like she gave him a slap in the face, saying that she misconstrued what he wanted, which was not hooking up with other guys in the ocean. Elise tried to defend herself saying that the kiss didn’t mean anything, giving Dylan the out he clearly wanted from the offset, saying that the kiss meant something to him and that maybe this wasn’t meant to be—and even asked her not to give him a rose at the rose ceremony. The heated conversation ended with an awkward hug and Elise deciding that the relationship can only get stronger from there.
Clare prattled on about not being able to find love at this point, when in walked Zack, who became her friend through the various Bach events and such. Chris B. was feeling the competition from Zack, concerned that he wasn’t guaranteed a rose—especially from Clare. Zack came armed with a date card, and immediately asked his “friend” Clare. Clare went on her second date of the episode, fully embracing her half-Mexican (?) heritage with Zack, as well as his pheromones—wanting allll the kisses from him. Clare was definitely getting that feeling from Zack and even “felt his connection in the ocean,” if you catch her drift. Elise went on and on (and on) about how her and Dylan are meant together, though Chris B. swooped in cause some trouble, trying to secure himself a rose. He tried to tell Elise that Dylan wasn’t really that upset over their spat (and then called him “Fat Damon” behind his back), but Dylan told the cameras that he was absolutely not going to take Elise on a date if he got a card—which he did. Chris was concerned about his position and was hoping Elise would stay put to hang with him. Elise thought that Dylan would still take her on a date so they could rekindle their love(?) and was convinced that they would go together (I feel bad for her, because this is clearly Dylan’s fault, but she sounds cray cray)—but in the end Dylan stood his ground and asked Sarah instead, who asked him why he didn’t want to take Elise. When he expressed his disappointment with Elise kissing Chris, Sarah decided to think it over a little bit, having built a friend with Elise in the house. Sarah explained the awkward situation to Elise, who was obviously upset, but conceded that Sarah should go and have fun, though it seemed to come with some restrictions (“I’d rather him ask you because I trust you…” – code for “don’t kiss him or I’ll have you foreverrrr.”). Sarah went and shared the good news with Dylan that she would go on the date with him, while Elise continued to ramble about how her and Dylan were going to get past everything.
Sarah and Dylan went off on their date while Elise just. kept. talking. (Omggggg shaddappppp!) Dylan was apologetic to Sarah for having to deal with the whole Elise drama and called her beautiful. Sarah seemed to enjoy the company, though the awkwardness seemed to loom even though she clearly wanted to be there with Dylan and see where things would go. Back at the house Elise tried to rationalize everything again to basically anyone who would listen (we stopped though). Ben was leading the charge for the evening group hangs and trying to get everyone to have fun and have some drinks. Marcus accidentally found a letter addressed to Ben—allegedly from his girlfriend back at home—and shared it with Marquel, upping the drama in the house. Always the diplomat, Marquel said that he felt that Ben was wasting everyone’s time being there with a girl back at home, and off Marcus went to confront Ben about the situation. Clare tried to do some snooping while the guys talked, though didn’t seem to have too much to report. Ben said that he did have someone kinda special back at home that he had met before he left for Mexico, saying that he was honest that he didn’t make any connections at the house, knowing that he had someone back at home. Michelle M. got offended because she left her daughter back at home to make an effort here, Ben said that he was going home so not to waste anyone else’s time. Truthfully, Michelle was a little melodramatic—followed by Clare—though they did have a point that he let the girls believe he was unattached completely. After a firm talking to from Michelle, Ben decided that coming to Paradise was a mistake and that he was “done with TV” and decided to go home instead.
After Ben left, there were seven guys remaining, meaning one guy was getting sent home since it was the girls’ turn to dole out the roses. While the paired up couples continued their excessive kissing, Michelle took it upon herself to get to know Marquel a bit better, in hopes of figuring out who to give her rose to. Marquel admitted he thought Michelle “liked to drink,” which she obviously took the wrong way, putting him in an uncomfortable position—and maybe out of a rose. Rob swooped in “looking like a Ken doll” to talk to Michelle a bit more and she asked him what he thought about her drinking habits. Chris tried to get a gauge of where Elise was at with him, hoping to secure himself in the house for another week. Elise wanted to give the rose to Dylan, but so did Sarah who was feeling some sparks after her date. Sarah tried to explain the difficult position she’s in to Dylan, but Dylan reminded her she came to find love, not a best friend. Dylan sat down with Elise to explain that he wanted to stay, but not necessarily for her and didn’t want her to hold back with Chris or anyone else. He pulled the dreaded “friend” card on Elise, giving Elise mixed signals (really? Mixed?), causing her to ask if he would accept her rose, should she offer it, to which he said “I would not.” Yikes.
The first three roses went off without a hitch, but when Elise offered the rose to Dylan, he turned it down, warranting the most awkward speech from Elise (I don’t even know what she was saying). After her rant about love and deserving the best (or something to that effect), Elise gave the rose to Chris B., which he gladly accepted. Then Sarah was up, and we alllll thought she would give it to Dylan—but in a surprising turn of events, she gave it to Rob in hopes that they could get to know one another better, sending Dylan home to think about the stupid decisions he made. While Elise was acting like a bona fide crazy lady, Dylan really did start all the trouble and could have let her down a little easier—but, alas, he paid for his mistakes and got sent home.
Coming up roses: Marcus (from Lacy, duh), Zack (from Clare), Marquel (from Michelle M.), Chris B. (from Elise), Rob (from Sarah).
Paradise pairings: Lacy & Marcus, Clare & Chris B., Elise & Dylan, Elise & Chris B., Clare & Zack, AshLee & Graham (oh yeah… them).
Kiss count: Lacy & Marcus, Elise & Chris B., Clare & Zack. (Episode-3; Season-6)
Cry count: Elise, Michelle M., (Episode-2; Season-5)
Catfight count: None… for now.