So, your boyfriend just left the room, you know he won’t be back for a while, and there’s his laptop, just inches away, screen open: glowing, beckoning. You realize that if you had just five minutes alone with his MacBook, you could keep tabs on his browsing history, click through his pictures and videos, and maybe even access his Facebook and email accounts. But before you reach for the keyboard, heart pounding, anticipating what you might find, you should probably consider why a little innocent snoop-fest could have some serious repercussions.
Even if you have reason to suspect that your guy is up to no good, invading his privacy is never a good idea. Think about it, how would you feel if you came out of the shower to find your boyfriend frantically scrolling through your smartphone? Not so good, right? It would kind of feel like he’s disrespecting your right to your own personal privacy, and that’s because he would be. So don’t rifle through your man’s things behind his back if you wouldn’t want the same done to you.
It can be addictive
Once you’ve snooped, it can be hard to stop, especially if you’ve somehow picked up a few passwords along the way. Even if you’re not finding anything, just having access to his personal accounts can fuel the growing, ugly temptation to log in and check up on your guy obsessively. You won’t be able to relax, and every time you scan through his emails, or FB messages, you’ll feel guilt instead of relief. Also: let’s just say you do find something horrible, remember that confronting him will also involve fessing up to your embarrassing, sneaky habits. Sure, if he’s involved in a little Facebook flirting, he’s in the wrong, but breaking into his account without his permission is not that much better (and he will definitely call you on it).
You’ll get caught
Even if you think you’re being careful, remember, you’re not James Bond, and at some point you’re bound to slip up and get caught. When this does happen, don’t count on your guy taking it lightly. He’s going to be very hurt and possibly extremely angry, and he’ll have every right to be. Whether he yells at you or not, one thing’s for sure, he’ll no longer trust you, and will most likely be crushed that you don’t trust him”or can’t simply talk to him about your concerns instead of spying on him.
He’ll dump you
No one wants to be with a paranoid nutcase. If your man picks up on your shady habits, whether through your own admission, or your inevitable mess-up, he’s not going to want to be with someone who makes him feel like he’s constantly under a microscope. Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie starts seeing the guy she deems ˜too perfect,’ and then gets caught rummaging through his apartment? Remember what happened? Our girl got dumped. Yeah, and a variation of that unfortunate story will most likely happen to you if you keep the shifty man monitoring up.
Bottom line: If you’re concerned about your relationship, or your boyfriend’s behaviour, TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT! Don’t resort to amateur sherlocking. The key to a successful relationship is open, honest communication. Your man shouldn’t be your enemy; you shouldn’t have to keep watch over him, and if you think he’s given you strong reason to do so, maybe you should ask yourself why you’re with such an untrustworthy guy in the first place. If you do have serious trust issues, and want to salvage the relationship, the only way you’re going to make it is by working through your problems together, not looking at it as strictly you vs. him. Besides, even if your man is being slimy and hiding it, it’s bound to come out on its own, without you also lowering yourself to some equally trashy behaviour in the meantime.