As women, if we’re regular and pre-menopause, we get our periods once a month. Typical periods last three to five days, meaning for an entire year we’re spending anywhere from 36 to 60 days on our period. If you’ve been with your partner for 10 years, that’s 360-600 days of periods. Put even more simply, that’s 360-600 days where you could be having sex but aren’t because you significant other is grossed out by periods. This is over a year of being sex-free. Excuse me?
I’ve had two serious relationships in my adult life, and one beau couldn’t care less about period sex and the other one took some convincing. And convincing was top of my priority list, as I didn’t want to find myself included in that sad stat listed above. And even more importantly: I (along with Jess, evidently) freaking love period sex.
So woe is your boyfriend who doesn’t want to have sex with you on your period. Imagine he was told that out of his control, he’d be forbidden from sex for an entire year of your relationship? He’d be pissed, right? This isn’t an article with intention to go into a full-blown op-ed on gender inequality, so I’ll leave it at teaching you how to convince your boyfriend to have sex with you on your period. (DISCLAIMER: if your beau legit has a phobia of blood, maybe you should let him off on this one. Phobias are real things, people.)
Have sex in the shower
The obvious choice is to have sex in the shower. And while it is a myth that your flow stops in the water, it certainly isn’t rushing anywhere fast. Plus, you’re in the shower, so if there is any flow happening, chances are you’ll be so caught in the moment that you won’t even see it happen. There’s also a great opportunity to have fun with some water-friendly sex toys, which will help ease him into the situation and get you both excited. Still not into it? Start by having sex nearing the end of your period, where flow is virtually non-existent. Slowly he’ll see that it isn’t a big deal, and you can begin doing the deed closer to when your period begins.
The art of persuasion
Alright ladies, at work you often need to convince people to do things for you, or to convince your boss your ideas are fucking fantastic. Here, you need to coach your S.O. on why period sex is so important to you (and will be fun for both of you). First, women are typically horny af on their period. If your man is a keeper, he’ll want to please you and enjoy getting you off when you want it most. Second, you’re blessed with a natural lubricant. Take advantage of that! Third, if you skip the first day, chances are your flow is minimal, and won’t lead to an overly messy situation. Explain the cycle to your boyfriend. Chances are no one has, and he feels this is applicable to every woman’s period:
Timing is everything
Since going off the pill, my periods have become borderline unmanageable on the first day. Because of that, I take the first day off. Every day following, however, is fair game. I’ve found the best timing is to have sex immediately after you’ve taken out your tampon. Use some freshening wipes and let your beau know that it isn’t a heavy month, and you’ll be fine if you do it right after. Avoid telling him the tampon part, because if he’s grossed out by period sex, he may not be so turned on envisioning the tampon. Along with timing is how you word it. Casually mention you’re nearing the end of your cycle, lay some towels down, and don’t make a big deal of it. When he’s halfway through the act, he’ll forget entirely. Game on.
Be open and honest
If your beau is grossed out by period sex, chances are, no one has taken the time to brief him on the logistics. Talk to him about your period. Educate him on the realities of it, what it’s doing to your body and how it can be annoying as a woman to have them. To some of your guys, this may be a long shot. But if he truly cares about you and hey, maybe even wants to have a baby with you at some point, it’s important he knows. Once he understands the realities, it’ll likely open him up more and more to the idea of not just succumbing to period sex, but enjoying it.
Alright ladies, go get it on!