When I first heard that human females made love while menstruating I was completely shocked. Although, that might have had more to do with the fact that I was eight years-old and had no idea what intercourse was or why women bled once a month from down there. Even after the birds and the bees convo with my gym teacher I was disgusted by the thought of being intimate while injured (still not getting it). Looking back, I can’t believe there was a time in my life when I wasn’t the period sex advocate that I am today.
I understand that it’s not for everyone. You either love it, or you hate it, or you’d rather avoid the mess, or you dated a guy once who was grossed out by it so now you’re kinda confused, or you’d simply prefer not being intimate with anyone who isn’t a bag of chips. I get it. However, my affection for bumping uglies while surfing the crimson wave only continues to grow with age. In my opinion, it is absolutely spectacular and here is why.
Orgasming relieves cramps
When I need a reprieve from Aunt Flo head-butting me in the stomach I pop some Tylenol or take a bath or ask a man to put his face in my crotch for a while. A contracting vagina pairs quite nicely with a contracting uterus.
The erotic areas are extra sensitive
My lady parts are super delicate during my monthly and every touch reverberates through my entire bodice. That includes pleasurable touch via a man and painful touch via my crappy bicycle seat which I should have replaced two years ago.
[mks_pullquote align=”right” width=”300″ size=”24″ bg_color=”#000000″ txt_color=”#ffffff”]There’s nothing like seeing a bloody hand print on my pillow to remind me that I’m a goddamn wild animal.[/mks_pullquote]
It all feels so very carnal
There’s nothing like seeing a bloody hand print on my pillow to remind me that I’m a goddamn wild animal. I embrace the primal creature within and do what I was designed to do. Eat. Sleep. Fornicate.
Baby creation is unlikely
Ovulation is a thing of the past. The egg is officially dead. Long live the queen that is my temporarily infertile uterus. I am at the peak of the rhythm method and my hormones know it. My pregnancy paranoia dissipates and my vagina rides high.
The stains are a souvenir
Who needs a picture when I have red/brown/orange spots on white sheets to remember my coitusing adventures? I look back at the spots and I think Awww. Andrew. I remember balls.
Lots of natural lubricant, baby
Boy, does it suck when my body is turned on but my vag is bone dry. I should be vacationing in a moist rainforest but instead I’ve somehow landed in the Sahara desert. Lube reconciles this problem but you know what’s cheaper than lube? My uterine lining.
It’s fun to indulge in that hot mess
I understand that it can be a hassle cleaning up afterwards. But, remember finger painting? You would get paint all over your body as a child and you’d make a beautiful picture and it would be a goddamn blast. So, I say, get dirty and make some SEX ART ALREADY.
I let go of my insecurities
When I’m nude I often worry about my flab or my cellulite or my pimples that might be blobs of jam. But, when I’m doing the deed on my menses I have fewer inhibitions. Less doubt. My self-judgement decreases and I let go of my ability to not hump.
I’m horny as hell
At this point in my cycle my urge to bang everything and anything rises significantly. My vibrator gets worn out. My porn browsing triples. And my texting of people I used to know intimately resurfaces. It’s an exciting time of recklessness, romance, and regret.
Lovin’ is great therefore I want to do it always and forever and right now
And the number one reason for why I love period sex: I love sex. Period. So, why take a break from doing it at all? AM I RIGHT, LIBIDOS?