The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 5 Recap: A Whole Lotta Kissing and Crying

After last week's dramatic episode in Seoul, South Korea, we were ready for a bit of a break from the crybabies and crazy ladies, but with only 11 Bachelorettes left and this week spent in Vietnam, we're sure tensions are going to be running high and the claws are sure to come out. 

Renee got the first one-on-one date of the epsiode, and the giddy single mom went off skipping, hoping to fortify her bond with Juan Pablo. Taking Renee out for a day around Vietnam, their first stop was a dress shop where Renee was getting a custom-made dress, which Juan Pablo helped her to pick out the fabric. After some strolling and shopping for gifts for each of their kids, JP and Renee went out for dinner (Renee wearing her new dress), but, to Renee's dismay, still no kiss since JP is still on his good-role-model-for-my-daughter kick. A relatively boring (in relation to other dates on The Bachelor) date, but super mushy and sweet that sort of makes you want JP to just call off the show and date Renee, since they clearly have a lot in common. But, since we thrive on the drama of this show, we're not writing off the other ladies just yet. 

Credit: Bachelor ABC on Twitter

On the group date (with Sharleen, Chelsie, Kat, Cassandra, Clare, Kelly, Alli, Danielle and Andi) everyone was separated into pairs and guess who partnered up with JP? Yup, Clinger Clare. Each of the pairs went in these boats and when JP and Clare's boat got stuck behind everyone else, Juan Pablo took the opportunity to have a mini smooch-fest with Clare (so much for role model). Naturally the rest of the girls felt like they were witnessing Clare and JP's one-on-one date. The group crashed a random family's home for some produce harvesting and a big meal where some of the girls made jokes (veiled in disdainful truth) on how Clare and JP were off doing stuff in the bushes. Later in the evening, JP took Clare to chat first, spurring a few more nasty comments in her direction. Clare and JP went back to his suite to change into bathing suits to get some first-base action happening in JP's pool. When Sharleen stole a moment of his time, the two went down to the beach to… kiss! And shortly after, it was Andi on the beach giving her shpeel on how she doesn't know where she stands and blah blah blah, until JP—yup, you guessed it—kissed Andi! It seems that it's just poor Renee that can't seal the deal. And then, at four in the morning, Clare went to JP's suite to lure him to go swimming in the ocean with her. I mean, I won't call her the name that I'm thinking, but I'm sure you also have a word for girls that like that…

Nikki's one-on-one date involved the two going up the Marble Mountains and rappelling into the Hell Cave where yet another girl is terrified of heights (though it took significantly less coaxing to get Nikki down into the cave than it did to get Chelsie to go bungee jumping). But after Nikki and JP made their way down to the cave, Nikki was rewarded with a quick smooch. The two went to dinner in (another) cave and Nikki really opened up about why she chose pediatric nursing and how much she loves kids and her job (music to JP's heart). Of course, Juan Pablo gave Nikki a rose and the two kissed a little more (though in a much classier way than JP did with Clare…) and gave us a bit more faith in her after last week's dramafest. 

The ladies arrived at the cocktail party to see a beautiful lantern-adorned locale, forcing Renee to point out it would be the perfect backdrop for her first kiss with Juan Pablo. After JP had a bit of time with some of the girls, Renee took another moment of his time (even though she already had a rose—I thought the girls had some sort of code, but I guess the morals were a little loose in this episode) and after explaining to Juan Pablo that she told her son what she came to The Bachelor to do so he doesn't need to worry about disrespecting him, Juan Pablo finally (FIIIIINALLY!!) cut the poor girl a break and gave her a kiss (I mean, after four girls does one more really matter?). While the kiss left Renee all tingly and stuff, it left JP feeling a little guilty that he wasn't being fair because of what happened with Clare the other night, which prompted him to tell Clare that what happened was probably not fair to the rest of the girls or to his daughter (again, after four girls, does it matter?). Clare started to show her crazy a bit when she got upset, but seemed genuinely crushed when JP said that he was disrespecting his daughter by having a late-night rendevous with a psycho someone so soon. After the two talked, Clare was still upset, warranting another talk (monopolizing more of JP's time that should have been spent with the other girls) where JP desperately tried to calm her down (because, ya know, he can't deal with any female emotion other than happy), but Clare was still upset feeling as though if Juan Pablo felt that it was wrong he shouldn't have done it (not that anything reeeeally happened) and she didn't do anything wrong. 

As the rose ceremony began, some of the girls were a little tense, feeling as though the night was spent once more watching JP and Clare, even though three girls were getting sent home and not many of them got their time in. Kelly, Danielle and Alli were sent home (pity, I really liked Kelly's jokes), leaving only eight Bachelorettes vying for his heart, making everything a bit more emotional and adding an extra dash of crazy (on Clare's part, obvs).  

Coming up roses: Renee, Clare, Nikki, Sharleen, Cassandra, Chelsie, Kat and Andi

Bachelorettes to watch: All eyes on #CrazyClare

Cry count: Episode- 5 (Clare, Danielle, JUAN PABLO, Alli, Sharleen ); Season Total – 20

Kiss count: Episode- 5 (Clare, Sharleen, Andi, Nikki, Renee—FINALLY!); Season Total – 12

Catfight count: Episode- 0; Season Total- 1

Tags: Juan Pablo, the bachelor, the bachelor episode 5 recap, The Bachelor season 18

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