Why Jealousy is a Good Thing

Have you ever felt insecure, or overly dependent? Have you ever become consumed by jealous feelings? Have those jealous feelings ever undermined your self-esteem, driven friends or family away and made you miserable?

Jealous feelings are actually a really important signal that something’s out of whack in your relationships. If you couldn’t feel jealousy, you would never learn how to trust your own instincts.

For instance:

1. A friend has something you wish you did: A great job, perfect skin, a nice car, a super hot boyfriend¦ in a healthy friendship, a little competition is fine. In an unhealthy friendship, the level of competition is so high that at any given moment one of you is happy and one of you is miserable. Your jealous feelings are telling you that this situation is unhealthy.
Solution: Start making time for friends whose company is a treat. Try hanging out with people who you can relax and actually enjoy spending time with.

2. Your sibling has an exciting job saving the world. She is well paid and gets to travel extensively. Your parents seem to relish reminding you that she has never called home for a bailout on rent or bills. Your jealous feelings are telling you that you’re not financially secure or fulfilled by your own career decisions.
Solution: Evaluate where you are in your life versus where you would like to be. Consider whether seeing a career counselor, a debt counselor, or a life coach could help you gain some control over the path you are on. Once you gain some confidence, your relationship with your sibling will definitely improve.

3. Your boyfriend often comes home from work with stories about his female colleague. He seems to really get a kick out of her knack for practical jokes and skills on the office softball team. You are jealous because your Ex-boyfriend cheated on you with a girl who was ˜just a friend’ and the experience has left you expecting the same from your new guy.
Solution: Communicate! Tell your boyfriend how his relationship with his colleague is making you feel. Remind him that you have been burned in the past. Once he understands your perspective, he will tone down the hilarious tales and remind you of all the ways that he is not your Ex.

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Tags: competing with friends, jealous boyfriend, jealousy, Relationships, Shannon Christie, sibling rivalry

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