So, you’ve been dating this guy for a few months and things have been going relatively well. But you have recently discovered that something has been bugging you. You haven’t been able to figure it out until now. You just aren’t feeling it. Oh, that elusive chemistry is a funny thing, isn’t it? There seems to be little science behind it and what triggers it can make no sense. Flighty as chemistry may be, you haven’t felt much of it with this guy and you are thinking of calling it quits. Only, there’s a complicating factor. He’s really into you. In fact, head over heels.
While your first instinct may be to run for the hills, change your identity and stop returning his calls, the fact of the matter is, you are dealing with someone who has real feelings and emotions that are tied to you and that needs to be handled delicately, if not respectfully.
What’s a girl to do?
Face it. Head-on. The worst thing you can do in this situation is pull a disappearing act. For those who have been on the receiving end of one, it’s never fun and the person can often be left wondering what happened.
Take the high road and find some time to sit down with him and let him know what you are really thinking and why you are bringing it up now. Explaining the timing is important. It’s easy to get caught up in a story and a round-about explanation, but keep it honest so you aren’t adding any false hope to the situation. With that in mind, keep it short and sweet and avoid any blame. Remember, this guy is going to go on to date others who may appreciate the things you didn’t care for, so don’t hand him any additional baggage to carry if you can avoid it. Keep it reflective about yourself and why you’ve come to the decision you have.
He’ll probably have some questions so indulge if you can. No one likes hearing this stuff so let him work it out of his system the way he needs to. Since you called the shot, help give him what he needs to avoid bruising ego’s.
Finally, keep it warm. After all, you did share your time, effort and energy with him so no need to suddenly switch to deep freeze mode. It’s useful to put yourself in his shoes in this moment (since guaranteed, the roles will be flipped at some point in your dating life) and imagine how you’d like to be treated. Likely gently and with some kindness.