Well here we are, fellow award show aficionados. A mere week after the Tonys (and the same night as the Daytime Emmys), we have the MuchMusic Video Awards; an award show so grand, Queen Street has been shut down for what feels like six months. Singers! Actors! Performances! All of it. So was it worth it? We're going to work it. And by "work it" I mean go over the most memorable parts here.
Let's venture together on this momentous journey.
9 p.m. Psy the co-host opens with "Gangnam Style"
And the only person who is surprised is no one. No one is surprised. Imagine if Psy didn't open the ceremony with "Gangnam Style"? THAT is what the Wicked Witch of the West meant when she screamed, "Oh what a world." Because frankly, "Gangnam" overloard aside, he did a bang-up job. And we all know it.
9 12 p.m. Demi Lovato wins International Video of the Year for "Heart Attack"
Which, considering she was up against T-Swift and Justin Timberlake is a pretty big feat. She's going to put it on her bookshelf, she announces via thank-you speech. MMVA co-host Psy will break said bookshelf because he was also up for that award. (Kidding, obviously — but wouldn't that be a great way to start a rivalry?)
9 23 p.m. Classified
There's something to be said for a highly produced outdoor award show: it actually sounds and looks amazing. That said, you'd still have to be a Classified fan to fully appreciate his sound — which is totally fine, the crowd is jam-packed with screaming, singing teen-year-olds who can't get enough of the camoflage short-clad rapper. You go, teens! And you too, Classified! Thank you for not doing the following:
9 25 p.m. An Australian band "breaks" the t-shirt machine, takes off their shirts, hurls them into the crowd, then calls the women "sexy"?
They also had "MMVA" written on their boxer-briefs, which they showed off with the confident swagger of the type of guys who yell things at you from across the mall. And exactly as charming, too!
9 35 p.m. TAYLOR SWIFT!
Can Taylor Swift co-host too? Could you imagine Taylor Swift and Psy? I can. But instead, we get Ed Sheeran, whom Taylor introduces as "one of her best friends." And you know what? That's fine. That's lovely. Show the power of friendship, talented younger singers! And as that happens, we can bask in "Better Now," which Ed performs and which certain friends of mine have likened to Tracy Chapman's "Fast Cars." (They are not wrong.) (And that is a compliment.)
9 49 p.m. Austin Mahone…
Is here! Do you know who that is? I do not, which doesn't matter to him because he has almost 3 million Twitter followers, and is incredibly famous. Evidently, the MMVAs are for learning, and tonight, I am its pupil.
9 55 p.m. Psy dances to "Single Ladies"
And with his sunglasses on, his jacket whipped off, and the dedication of a man who has COMMITTED, he dances. He dances better than Beyonce, maybe. He dances his way into our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Honestly, if you don't like Psy by now, it might just be time for us all to take a break.
10 05 p.m. Avil Lavigne performs
And once again, raises her hands to "Here's To Never Growing Up." FANCY TALK from a woman who is currently in her late 20s and engaged to a certain Chad Kroeger, who is also present. (Not on stage.) (But imagine? That would literally be a dream.)
10 11 p.m. Mariana's Trench performs ala Tom Cruise in Risky Business
Regardless of whether or not you're a fan of the pop-punk band, you've got to tip your hat to the commitment to full '80s dress-up. Did it have anything to do with the song? Absolutely not. But it went particularly well after Taylor's homage to youth culture. And it's the MMVAs! If we don't wax poetic about being young now, WHEN CAN WE.
10 16 p.m. Taylor Swift wins Favourite International Artist and thanks MuchMusic for playing music video
Yeah, Taylor! They do! And do you know why? Because Canada rules! But on a more serious note, a very eloquent, sincere, and lovely speech. So thank you, Taylor Swift.
10 27 p.m. DRAKE IS IN THE HOUSE
DRAKE, YOU GUYS! He showed up! He loves Toronto! He wore white jeans! He completely upstaged Cody Simpson, who followed his appearance! It is impossible to talk about Drake or this moment without exclamation marks! He started from the bottom… THEN HE WAS THERE.
10 35 p.m. Demi Lovato performs
And despite the fact I'd trade in her industrial-inspired leather jacket for one with less cut-outs, she earns one million points for her live act, which included a stirring rendition of "Heart Attack." (As if we'd expect anything less.)
10 45 p.m. Classified wins for Video of the Year
And could not be more gracious about it if he tried. If tonight's show had a theme, it'd be reasonable levels of politeness. Is it because of Psy? Did he set the precident? Or more importantly, is everyone just acting like adults? (Contrary to songs like "Here's to Never Growing Up"?)
10 51 p.m. But then, Mariana's Trench wins for Your Fave Video
Madness! Or is it? Considering the youth of today voted on this, they technically know what is and isn't worthy of the prize. Though, let's be honest, another T-Swift speech would've worked. Or an appearance by Bieber. Or Drake, handing out copies of the album we've been waiting a century for. (Or at least a few decades.)
10 55 p.m. Psy performs "Gentleman" for the first time on Canadian television
And a "Gentleman" he proved himself to be. Was anyone else as shocked that he turned out to be probably the best award show host since Amy Poehler and Tina Fey? Could we talk about Psy as an Oscar host? Or Grammy host? Or at least Grammy co-host, wherein he replaces LL Cool J's hat? Talk to me, producers. The man — regardless of whether or not you like his music — is a gift.
Check out our favourite looks from the MMVA red carpet, including Naya Rivera, Shay Mitchell, Brittany Snow and Taylor Swift: