Signs Of An Unhealthy Friendship

As hard as it is to let go of friendships, sometimes a best friend can turn into a bad friend.

Here’s how to tell if it’s time to let go.

 

She makes you feel guilty

Does your friend get upset or angry when you tell her you can’t afford to do something or go somewhere that she wants to go? Or does she blame you for not making enough time for her, when you work two jobs and have other commitments?

If you constantly feel guilty when it comes to her, it’s likely not because you did something wrong “ it’s probably because she’s making you feel like you did. This perpetual cycle of guilt trips takes an emotional toll, especially if you’re constantly trying to make up for something or win her back, instead of simply enjoying your friend.

 

She constantly creates drama

If she’s the type who always has a story of how someone wronged her, some controversy at work or in her romantic life, you may find yourself exhausted and exasperated by the constant conflict. She thrives on drama and is instant on filling you in on all of the details, and when day, she may make you a part of it.

 

She’s self-involved

When was the last time she seemed genuinely interested in your life? Does she ask you about work, your relationship? Does she offer you advice, guidance and support? Do you feel comfortable confiding in her the honest details of your life?

If she’s only interested in one topic “ herself “ then you definitely need to have a talk about your needs. Perhaps she doesn’t realize she’s a conversational bulldozer. But if all she requires is a silent sounding board and you’re constantly feeling ignored and taken for granted, it’s time to find a more equal friendship.

 

She’s jealous

If she’s possessive of you and your time and jealous of your other relationships and obligations, that’s a big warning sign. A healthy friendship needs balance and your pal should want you to be happy and busy, with and without her. Jealousy can turn nasty very quickly “ this is one to be wary of.

 

Did your best friend become your frenemy? What happened to split you up? How did you deal? Share with us.

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Tags: BFF, frenemy, friendship, jealousy

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    With friends like that who needs enemies.
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Good for you for finally speaking up. You were just being honest. She didn’t like it that you asserted yourself. Obviously she wasn’t a true friend. She used you and you were a convenience for her. Friends care about each other, it’s not just one sided.
  3. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have a close friend. We go 2 the same high skool, next to each other in class. But the problem is:
    1. Whenever I have a new clothes or a clothes she has never seen me in I would notice that she would watch me from head to toe, and she would never utter a compliment. When I compliment her, she says thank so softly that if I wasn’t watching her then I would never have known that she said thank you. Could that be a sign of jealousy?
    2. Now that friend that I spoke about above, is my verrrryyyy close friend. But in skool, there is my best friend, and she is also in same class with the both of us, and she sits next to us also. My best friend has a tendancy to somtimes talk a lot and very loudly at times. Now that can become very annoying to me and my close friend. And the way that my close friend looks at my best friend sometimes it bothers me and sometimes makes me full of anger inside. And the way that my close friend talks to my close friend i know it upsets her and sometimes hurts her (my best friend). My best friend is not a person who likes 2 make trouble well most of the time anyway…LOL..she took it by me). Well I know that if i had to talk to my close friend the way that she talks to my best friend she will feel verrry bad herself. and I know how to make her feel bad. So what should I do???
  4. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    All too familiar. I went through something similar. At some point you get tired of being the’supportive’ friend, particularly when the effort is not reciprocated. Kudos to you for finally nipping it in the bud! I’m sure at first you felt raw w/emotion, at the same time huge weight dropped off of your shoulders.
  5. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    With friends like that who needs enemies.
  6. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Good for you for finally speaking up. You were just being honest. She didn’t like it that you asserted yourself. Obviously she wasn’t a true friend. She used you and you were a convenience for her. Friends care about each other, it’s not just one sided.
  7. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have a close friend. We go 2 the same high skool, next to each other in class. But the problem is:
    1. Whenever I have a new clothes or a clothes she has never seen me in I would notice that she would watch me from head to toe, and she would never utter a compliment. When I compliment her, she says thank so softly that if I wasn’t watching her then I would never have known that she said thank you. Could that be a sign of jealousy?
    2. Now that friend that I spoke about above, is my verrrryyyy close friend. But in skool, there is my best friend, and she is also in same class with the both of us, and she sits next to us also. My best friend has a tendancy to somtimes talk a lot and very loudly at times. Now that can become very annoying to me and my close friend. And the way that my close friend looks at my best friend sometimes it bothers me and sometimes makes me full of anger inside. And the way that my close friend talks to my close friend i know it upsets her and sometimes hurts her (my best friend). My best friend is not a person who likes 2 make trouble well most of the time anyway…LOL..she took it by me). Well I know that if i had to talk to my close friend the way that she talks to my best friend she will feel verrry bad herself. and I know how to make her feel bad. So what should I do???
  8. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    All too familiar. I went through something similar. At some point you get tired of being the’supportive’ friend, particularly when the effort is not reciprocated. Kudos to you for finally nipping it in the bud! I’m sure at first you felt raw w/emotion, at the same time huge weight dropped off of your shoulders.
  9. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have been friends someone who i clearly thought was my friend. For over 20 years i have listened for thousand of hours, been there for her when she went through 2 divorces, went through 3 depressions, her agoraphobia and never turned my back on her. She is all the above and she would make me feel guilty for not calling her. She is completely self involved and would only talk about herself, her kids, her drama and would never ask me for the 2 hours on the phone how i was. When i would try to speak, she would cut me of and talk about her never get to finish my thought process.
    Am i that desperate to have a friend in my life ? Am I that insecure that I need this in my life ?
    I am a caring person and only want the best for her, she did have a hard life….but are these self-invovled people a magnet for doomed relationships?
    It was over when i told her one day……how come you claim to be agoraphobic and went to Plattsburgh twice over the summer???? this dd not go well and she LOST it on me. That was it. 20 yrs down the drain because i finally got to speak 15 words.
  10. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Had a very close friend or what I thought was a close friend she was all the above and more. Full of venom that one. Tried getting my hubby fired spread rumours played the poor me card all because I was tired of listening to her drama day in and day out. I suggested she seek prof help for her issues. Then KABOOM. Still waiting for karma to kick her in the A**
  11. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have been friends someone who i clearly thought was my friend. For over 20 years i have listened for thousand of hours, been there for her when she went through 2 divorces, went through 3 depressions, her agoraphobia and never turned my back on her. She is all the above and she would make me feel guilty for not calling her. She is completely self involved and would only talk about herself, her kids, her drama and would never ask me for the 2 hours on the phone how i was. When i would try to speak, she would cut me of and talk about her never get to finish my thought process.
    Am i that desperate to have a friend in my life ? Am I that insecure that I need this in my life ?
    I am a caring person and only want the best for her, she did have a hard life….but are these self-invovled people a magnet for doomed relationships?
    It was over when i told her one day……how come you claim to be agoraphobic and went to Plattsburgh twice over the summer???? this dd not go well and she LOST it on me. That was it. 20 yrs down the drain because i finally got to speak 15 words.
  12. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Had a very close friend or what I thought was a close friend she was all the above and more. Full of venom that one. Tried getting my hubby fired spread rumours played the poor me card all because I was tired of listening to her drama day in and day out. I suggested she seek prof help for her issues. Then KABOOM. Still waiting for karma to kick her in the A**

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