First Date Don’ts

Find out which common first date mistakes you may be guilty of and why they are just so wrong!

Don’t be late

Showing up fashionably late doesn’t make you appear like someone of extreme importance. It makes you appear selfish and inconsiderate. Five minutes late is no biggie but longer than that, and you’re sending the message to your new date that your time is more valuable than theirs. This doesn’t exactly set the mood or make you look all that great. If you can’t avoid being late due to an unforeseen event, call or text your date to let them know.  Don’t assume that their time isn’t just as valuable as yours.

Avoid talking about yourself too much

Yes, the point of a first date is to get to know one another, but remember not to dominate the conversation with fun facts about yourself. Be sure the conversation is an exchange between the two of you, not a monologue. Ask questions about the other person so they know you have a real interest in them.

Ladies, don’t expect your date to pay the bill

Unfortunately boys, we do believe in the traditional and recommend you do pick up the tab on a first date. However ladies, this doesn’t mean you can sit around like a princess with the expectation of having the bill paid. At least offer and show your date that you don’t care about conventional norms and don’t expect to be waited on. It’s great when a guy pays the bill and he probably will, but at least let him know you are appreciative of the gesture.

Keep the smartphones out of sight

The most annoying first date mistake your date can make in this day and age is overdoing it on the texting or Facebooking. Unless you are expecting an urgent call (urgent = babysitter, medical emergency, etc.) keep your phone in your bag or pocket. Not only is it really annoying to watch someone type away on their phone, it’s also very rude and insulting to your date. In fact, you should apply this rule to family get-togethers and time spent with friends, as well.

Don’t forget to be yourself

Some people think there are certain things they should say or do on a first, even though they may be out of character for them. No, you don’t have to pretend to like all the same movies or books as your date. Be yourself. If this date is going to turn into a relationship, it has to be honest and your date needs to like and appreciate you for the real you, not the first-date-you. Yes, it doesn’t hurt to up the politeness factor a little but stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid to share your real opinions.

Don’t promise a call back

The worst thing you can do after a first date that just didn’t do it for you is to lead the person on. Don’t say you’ll call, knowing you won’t, just because it seems like the appropriate thing to say. Just thank your date for the nice evening and say goodnight. There is no reason to promise a call back unless you genuinely have an interest in doing so. Leading someone on not only makes it harder to end things, but can hurt someone else’s feelings.

Never ask about exes

The time to discuss past relationships will come up as your relationship progresses. A first date is not the place to ask those questions. That can make your date feel as though you have a jealous personality or are moving too fast. Just take a first date for what it is – time to get to know someone new.

Don’t ask about marriage

We agree, finding out whether or not a prospect has the same views or interest in marriage as you do is important to know early on, before things get too serious. But the first date is simply too soon to demand whether or not he or she is interested in tying the knot some day. This is a great way to kill the date and scare the person off.

Don’t bring your date to a burger joint

In fact, don’t bring your date anywhere that involves messy eating. Not only do you need to be able to speak to one another between bites, but most ladies won’t be too comfortable eating a Sloppy Joe while trying to be elegant and classy.

Don’t judge too quickly

First dates can be nerve-wracking for just about anyone. Some people get a little tenser than others and might be more shy or awkward than they normally are. Sometimes, it just takes a few dates to start feeling more relaxed. Unless your date was a total and complete train wreck, don’t jump the gun. Give your date another chance to show you their personality before you stop answering their calls.

Tags: advice, first date, what not to do on first date, what to do on a first date

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