We’ve all had that one moment, when you’re in bed with someone you are totally digging (because of course this stuff never happens with those dudes you’re just kinda so-so about right?) and all of a sudden something so epically embarrassing happens that you don’t know how you’ll possibly recover. But thanks to us, now you do¦
First of all, if you’re doing a dude who is so immature that he’d be offended by a queef (which is actually just an air bubble in your girlie bits) then girl, you need to say goodbye. In all honesty, we think most women would agree that the easiest way to get over a queef is to ignore it. It’s not like it’s nothing he’s ever heard before. And if that fails¦just laugh it off.
And then there is the real deal. You went and farted mid-sex (or worse¦during oral). This one is tricky because if you know it isn’t going to be a smeller, you can usually just laugh it off as a queef¦but if it’s not, well, eek. Probably best to ask him to leave the room until the scent dies down (open a window girl!), and then definitely go and apologize. A good dude will shrug it off. A great dude will laugh at it right along with you.
He tried to put it in the wrong hole
And you’ve never bounced up faster in your whole life. This one is particularly common during the early stages in a relationship when he’s nervous and still not particularly aware of your body. Give the poor guy a break “ let him know that it’s fine and, if you’re into the kind of thing, give him a sexy maybe another time¦ then carry on.
It smells bad down there
We’re not always the greatest with being able to realize that we have a bit of a stench going on down there until we’re literally between the sheets and can’t smell anything else. Whether it’s you or him, the quickest and best way to solve a stinky problem without making things totally awkward is to suggest shower sex. It’s a win-win for everyone.
He can’t get it up
Whether it’s booze or nerves or any plethora of things, those days when a dude just can’t get it up can really wreck havoc on their self-esteem. The most important thing you can do is not make it a big deal¦cause he probably will. Play it off like it’s really not an issue or you were super tired anyway to try and take some of the heat off of him.
You got your period
Ugh. What could be worse than finally getting the super hunky dude you’ve been seeing between the sheets and next thing you know his high-thread count bed looks like the scene out of a horror flick. Apologize, explain that your period can be super unpredictable (guys don’t have a clue anyway) and then help him load his washer. This is really not the best moment to run away embarrassed.