Picking up right where we left off, Kelsey was being helped by some paramedics when, all of a sudden, she wanted to talk to Chris, giggling to the paramedic that she’ll surely get a rose tonight after the cocktail party was cancelled. This was sending all the girls into a tizzy because of this faker. Chris came in to rescue the damsel in distress who was warmed by a big hug while the other girls were sitting waiting for the rose ceremony to start. When Kelsey returned to the other girls, she was very emotional while the rest of the group was confused by her quick recovery. After Kelsey was all smiles again, we finally got the rose ceremony we had been waiting for. And proof that crocodile tears work wonders on impressionable farmers, Kelsey got the rose she’d kill for, along with Ashley I., who also squirted some tears to the camera when she thought she was in danger, while Mackenzie and Samantha were sent packing.
From Santa Fe, the group headed to South Dakota (another “perfect place to fall in love”) for the next step in their journey for love. This week, there’s a two-on-one date, a solo date and one group date, so you know one lady is getting sent home good and early. Britt and Kelsey talked about their relationships with Chris and Kelsey said that she “earned” the one-on-one date for everything she’s been through (because this is a competition, right?). To her dismay (and everyone else’s relief), Becca got the solo date.
Becca, also being the only one Chris hadn’t kissed, was over the moon on her one-on-one date with Chris, especially being away from the other girls. Chris took her horseback riding (because what else do you do in the deadwoods of South Dakota?). A born natural on horseback, Becca followed Chris through the woods until they arrived at their fireside picnic. Roasting some kebabs on the fire, Becca (the quieter, more demure virgin in the group) and Chris laughed and genuinely seemed to get along and were almost perfect for one another. They talked about their five-year plans and having a family and all of those other first date-appropriate topics. Even though she didn’t want her dad to see her kissing handsome farmers on national television, Becca accepted her deserving rose with a big smooch and an apology to her pops.
At the hotel, Carly voiced some of her concerns about Kelsey to the other girls… and then eventually to Kelsey. Whitney started the conversation saying that she had some things on her mind. Kelsey got defensive and played the “the rest of you are so silly” card and tried to explain her emotions, while telling the camera that she hadn’t endured all of this shit to not win this (not to mention this gem: “I’m blessed with eloquence. And I’m articulate and I use a lot of big words. Because I’m smart.” VOM.). Clearly losing sight of what she should be winning (love, duh), the other girls dropped it for the time being, but this is no doubt going to be an ongoing battle with Kelsey.
The next date card came up, denoting what the girls thought was the fate of the terrifying two-on-one date, but instead the group date was Whitney, Jade, Britt, Kaitlyn, Carly and Megan, meaning the two-on-one was officially Kelsey and Ashley I., which means a battle of the crazies.
On the group date, six ladies were vying for Chris’ heart. Since country music is a big part of Chris’ life, the ladies (along with Big & Rich—the guys that since “Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy,” in case you were as confused as I was) were going to write some love songs. Jade was having a hard time with her lyrics, so Big & Rich took her for a jog to free her mind and help her get those words flowing. As soon as the words started coming, Britt and Chris started a little snoodle-fest, making their present company a little uncomfortable and their feelings pretty apparent. There was some kissing, some hugging and some massaging, taking all the girls down a couple notches. Chris started of the musical performances (quite horribly, we might add—he should stick to farming and looking gorgeous), but the girls of course ate it right up. Britt was next up, followed by Whitney and a potty-mouthed Kaitlyn and Megan. Then Carly rocked it out of the water with a sweet serenade (because it’s what she does for a living, you guys) and poor tone-deaf and insecure Jade had to follow up that moment. After their performances, everyone got a little unwind time with Chris, including Jade, who was trying to articulate her feelings and the two shared a little smooch after she said that her feelings were growing and she could see herself moving to Iowa. The girls were a little concerned that they didn’t see the rose on the table, but that didn’t stop their little competitions, especially when Britt and Chris ran away and the two went off giggling together to the Big & Rich concert where they shared some serious kisses in the middle of the crowd before they got pulled up on stage where he offered that coveted rose. The girls were still sitting and waiting when Britt and Chris walked back in looking a little sheepish, especially when they sensed the tension. Chris tried to explain how his decisions were getting more and more difficult and just ended the evening like that. Yikes. Britt tried to explain herself out of the awkward situation, but the rest of the girls were rightfully upset and walked away to shed some humiliated tears.
Back at the hotel, Kelsey and Ashley I. got their official date care where they were going to be heading to the badlands (which Kelsey knew EXACTLY where that was, in case you ever doubted her). The two mean girls headed out for their battle of the psychos (if you were ever concerned this wasn’t a competition, this certainly solidified your suspicions) starting their two-on-one date on a helicopter ride along Mount Rushmore where teacher’s pet Kelsey recited her trivia knowledge. Once they threesome landed, Ashley I. took some time away from Kelsey for some kissing (because the girl and her contour do not waste any time) until Chris asked about what’s been happening in the house and the classic mean girl explained the whole Kelsey situation. Next up was Kelsey’s turn and Chris immediately asked about her take on what’s happening in the house. Kelsey spun it in a different way saying that she could be the wife because she’s been a wife (didn’t she just say that she wasn’t going to play the widow card…?). Chris finally brought up his concern that Kelsey is being fake in the house and she immediately said she thought Ashley I. was someone she could “trust” (anyone else LOL?). Kelsey went back to Ashley I. guns blazing and ready for battle. After Kelsey cordially blasted Ashley I. (because she’s a lady, after all), Ashley I. (and her contour) made it very clear that she’s intelligent too and then stormed off like a child to cry to Chris for tattling on the rejected Kardashian. Having a full-on breakdown, Chris had to admit that he ratted her out but then also had to explain that they’re in differnet places, considering the lives they live. Ashley I., who looked like she was going to explode, tried to argue her way out, rebutting that Britt is no better than her. After a long hug, off Ashley I. went, leaving a smug Kelsey behind. Chris went to break the news and, while Kelsey tried to play the comforting, doting wife cared, it wasn’t enough to keep her around and Chris sent her packing too.
At the hotel, the rest of the girls were playing the waiting game to see which crazy got sent packing and then in came someone to get Ashley I.’s bag, leaving the rest of the girls confused until Kelsey’s bag was taken as well (THERE IS A GOD) and then there was nothing but cheers and happy tears (and even some popping of bubbly). Since two ladies got sent home, there was no rose ceremony… for now. Stay tuned for next week's two-part recap!
Coming up roses: Part 1 – Carly, Whitney, Britt, Jade, Kaitlyn, Megan, Becca, Ashley I., Kelsey; Part 2 – Becca, Britt and the rest by default.
Kiss count: Britt (x2), Jade, Ashley I. (x2), Kelsey (x2) (Episode – 6; Season – 27)
Cry count: Kelsey, Ashley I., Mackenzie, Whitney, Carly, Kaitlyn (Episode – 6; Season – 34)
Catfight count: Another mini spat—where’s all the hair-pulling? (Episode – 1; Season – 2)
Bachelorettes to watch: It’s anyone’s game now… (but definitely Britt)