Guys, I have yet to buy a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit. This is because I am both lazy and on a budget and also I just wear lipstick. But a lot of people are very into Kylie Jenner’s Lip Kits, and last night, so many people tried to buy one that they literally broke the Internet.
And not in the Kim Kardashian magazine cover sense of the word — on Snapchat last night, Kylie claimed the rush for more kits messed with Google’s analytics. (“I broke Google.”)
Eight shades sold out in 20 minutes, and the site crashed in the wake of serious Candy and Koko K thirst.
“I’m really, really sorry if you didn’t get it,” she said on Snapchat. “I wish I could be behind the computer, doing all the technical shit, but I don’t know how.”
And me neither, girl, I hear you. But holy shit, am I right? So thirsty. Everybody is so thirsty. And why? What am I missing? Can’t we just achieve the same look via lipstick and lip pencil? Do I need a “kit”? Should I have a “kit”? Can somebody help me? Should I be more excited about all this than I am?
Because I’ll tell you what I’m excited about: Star Trek’s new MAC collaboration, which will launch (hey-oh!) in September. Inspired by the aesthetic influence of Commander Deanna Troi, Lt. Uhura, Vina Orion Girl (I don’t know who that is, I’m sorry), and Seven of Nine, the collection will consist of 25 pieces and boldly go where no one has gone before. (I’m assuming.)
So bless us everyone, I guess to each their own. One woman’s Lip Kit is another woman’s Seven of Nine-inspired eye shadow. But I’m still confused: what’s up with our Lip Kit thirst? Why are we breaking the Internet? Why haven’t we talked about other ways to create the same look, but without paying $40 and while using the makeup we already have? (Do you know you can, guys? Just toss some lip pencil onto your lip, top with lipstick and bada-bing.) Or, more importantly, why haven’t any of you pooled your time and money and gotten me a Lip Kit? Kylie’s my friend too, everyone. That’s why I follow her on Snapchat.
That’s what it’s for, right?