Your Career is Like an Avocado (No, Really)

I am very hard on myself when it comes to career achievements, financial gain and resumé©-building. I am always telling my reflection that I am never enough and that I need to be doing more and that my major accomplishments aren’t that major from my perspective. I am also an impatient individual so I put pressure on myself to get successful straight away. Whenever I start a new project I want it to be amazing within the first draft. When I apply for a gig, I want to get a response within an hour offering me the job. When I test out a joke, I hope to receive laughs instantaneously and if I don’t I panic a whole bunch. I just turned 30 and I’m already being critical of how far I’ve come and how far I need to go and why I haven’t I gotten that far already.

I try to talk myself down from this hill of self-criticism/self-pity/self-hate often using a metaphor I came up with a couple of years ago. I actually think it’s pretty accurate. I compare my career growth to the ripening of an avocado. I know it sounds kooky, but hear me out. If you also think your efforts and abilities and talents and triumphs aren’t enough, start getting with the avocado theory. Trust me. It is helpful and true and delicious. Plus, you can make guacamole after?

You gotta go out and get it

So, first piece of advice. Avocados don’t come to YOU, unless maybe you have one of those weekly vegetable-delivery services that drop off a box of tomatoes, peppers, etc. at your door. Likely, you do not have this. So, as with your career, you need to get up, get dressed and buy your job, girl. Well, maybe not BUY it per se, but, acquire it. Opportunities do not often land in your mouth. You need go out and get ˜em. So start shopping already!

You have to wait it out

Just like with an avocado, you can’t rush into anything or it will be a disaster. You might get impatient and then cut that baby open and it won’t be ripe and you’ll have just wasted an avocado. Why did you do that? Take your time. You have lots of it. Learn how to be patient. The moment will come soon enough. Keep doing what you do, working hard and living your life and soon enough, bam, that savoury day will arrive and you’ll be rollin’ in avocado and brie sandwiches.

You gotta trust that it will eventually get ripe

I know it’s excruciating waiting for that avocado to soften. Sometimes it feels like it’s taking forever and you don’t know if it will ever happen. You’ve been sitting by its side with your fingers crossed and your heart open but you’re getting nothing back. Your insecurity can’t help but wonder if you’re not good enough for your avocado to love you like that. Maybe if you were smarter or funnier or better looking it would ripen. Baby, you gotta SNAP OUT OF IT. Believe that it will love you. Believe that you’ll achieve your dreams. Believe that you’ll be able to make that salad! If you don’t believe and toss it in the garbage, you’ll never know how tasty it could be.

You also gotta keep checking on it because you’re never sure when it’s going to be ready

Avocados are also very unpredictable. One minute they’re hard as rock and the next they’re as tender as pudding. So, you gotta stick with it and pay attention and be on your toes at all times. JUST LIKE WITH YOUR CAREER. Are you catching on yet? If you lose focus and take your eyes off the prize, the opportunity might pass you by. And then you’ll end up with nothing but a rotten hunk of weird green mush. That sounds gross, no? Also, boring and not delicious at all.

You gotta eat it exactly when it’s ready to be eaten and just dive in

And when she is in her prime to be eaten, YOU GO EAT HER IN THE ASAP! I didn’t mean for this to start sounding so sexual…but seriously. Go down on that avocado AND your goals. If you get an offer, take it. You might be scared that you’re not prepared or hungry enough, bho cares? You’ll find a way to make it work. Close your eyes and fall, girl, into a bowl of garlic and onions.

Finally, you can use it in so many different ways and they are all scrumptious

And when you do munch on it you have an endless amount of options for how to prepare it. There is no one right path for consuming an avocado and there is no one right path for career success. You can get it in your belly and in your soul and on your CV in whatever style you prefer and the choice you make will be the best choice for you. Now let’s get eating/working!

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