How to Deal With the Haters in Your Life

Even if a hater effects you deeply, know that it's not personal. They're just playing their game. The only way you can let a hater truly knock you off your path is if you let what they say get to you. Shrug it off like you're bullet proof and figure out the smartest way to respond. Don't meet a hater with more resistance. It will only fight fire with fire. Channel your energy into a response that builds up your strength, instead. Here are four pointers for dealing with hateration.

Love yourself

Haters say nasty things to knock others down and make themselves feel like they're rising above. It's a purely ego-serving tactic. Rest assured that people who handle themselves that way won't ever be happy because they're not happy with themselves. You can be though. Don't question yourself or your beliefs just because someone said something negative. You know you are good. The people who know you and love you know you are good. Don't let this steer you off your path for a second. Stop, think about it, respond, move on stronger than before.

Get real

Step back from the situation and see it for what it really is. Then you'll be able to respond the way you want. To do this, you have to remove the emotions from the issue. Be objective. If a friend was telling you the story of what happened, what would you tell them? Put yourself in your friends' shoes and give yourself advice from an objective-as-possible viewpoint. But be aware that there was a reason this situation effected you. The stronger your hurt, the more you need to defend yourself. Tap into the energy of that personal connection, but don't use it to fuel an irrational outburst. Use it as fuel for a response with conviction.

Channel your energy into creation, not destruction

Don't try to break down what's been said, build up what you want to say. There's no point in trying to make a hater see how they are wrong. Accept that you can't. Hating is their game, the fuel they thrive on. Don't feed it any more. Turn inward and explore the thing that prompted your anger – the reason it rattled you is where the energy lies. Respond in a way that embodies what you ultimately want – be it love, equality, passion, peace. Respond in a way that fills the world with more of that, more of you. Anything else is joining the opposite team. (Srsly. Check out how trash taking is making us weaker.) 

Be strong in your response

you handle this hater is practice for the adversity you'll come face to face with on your path in the future. However you choose to handle it, handle it with integrity and be firm in your convictions. What do you really want to say and how do you want to say it? Do you want to address the person face to face? Are they worth it? Or would it be more worthwhile to turn your energy outward and create something to aid in your larger goals – write a blog post about the general issue in question, or devote energy to an art project? Either way, be strong in your response. You are worth defending.

Tags: friendship, hate, haters, Relationships, trash talking, you're worth it

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