Now that you’ve breached that just-buddies category, how do you navigate your way through the world of friends with benefits without risking everything: your pal and your lover? With a little thoughtfulness and an ability to see the big picture, it can actually work.
Here are some tried and tested tips:
Set your sights and your boundaries
Does your relationship extend beyond the bedroom? Do you expect him to rush over on a boring Friday night, and also to be your dates to the next family wedding? It’s important to define your needs and personal boundaries from the beginning to help guide your actions and expectations.
There is no way around it: sex always needs to be safe and you need to be honest with one another about possible partners when you’re not together.
Part of having a friend with benefits is being one as well. This means giving as much as you take in “ and out “ of the bedroom.
Keep jealousy out of it
This is, by definition, a casual arrangement. You cannot let yourself be influenced by feelings of jealousy or become territorial about him if you aren’t exclusive to one another. If and when one of you feels that familiar pang of possessiveness, it’s important to talk it through “ it may be time to discuss getting serious or stop the relationship altogether.
From the start, it’s vital that you promise to communicate if circumstances and feelings change to prevent things from going sour. By maintaining an open and honest approach, you will preserve your own sanity and emotional well-being “ not to mention your friendship.
Know that all good things often come to an end. What do you do when you no longer want or need your fall-back guy? There will come a time when the bootie calls must be put to bed “ it’s inevitable that one of you will start dating someone else.
If you’ve kept to the rules so far and have a mutual sense of respect for each other, now is the time to have that un-breakup breakup talk. Be as open as you possibly can, taking care to emphasize just how much you care about the friendship overall, and how much you want to keep it.
Have you successfully navigated the world of sex with a friend? Share how you managed it with us.