Sure, honesty is the best way to keep a relationship grounded and happy, but sometimes sharing every deep, dark detail with your sweetie can cause pain and create avoidable tension.
In the early days of dating, it’s perfectly reasonable to keep some information to yourself until you’ve established a bond of trust and understanding.
Here are some things to keep to yourself.
Specifics of past relationships
Never give your new beau the full history lesson on your last relationship “ nothing good can come of it. Dishing on your past loves will only lead to comparisons and insecurity on his part.
Your experience with therapy
This is a very personal thing, and the reasons for seeking help can be numerous and varied. We all need help to answer questions and unburden our souls. Getting this sort of help is a positive, proactive step to better mental health.
Guard your privacy: wait until you’re sure you can trust him before revealing this.
Your magic number
Laying out the exact number of men you have laid with is sure to stir up feelings of jealousy, inadequacy and distrust. Let him know that you love him and enjoy being with him “ the rest is history.
How you feel about his family/friends
So you don’t get along with his mom or his cousin or his best friend “ that’s hardly an original problem. Don’t make it your mission to tell him everything about this person that annoys you “ it will cause you unnecessary stress and could very well hurt his feelings.
The best strategy here is to stick it out. If the dating gets serious, you’ll have to face the way you feel about his closest allies.
Your bank balance
Time and again, money is one of the top reasons for break-ups and divorce. It’s hard to balance love and money, but it is possible. When you’re still dating, it’s important to reach equal footing “ no one wants to feel like they’re the only one shelling out for dinners and movies. If you make considerably more money than him, it could spell trouble.
Guys are often old-fashioned when it comes to bread-winning, and he may feel uncomfortable that he’s unable to treat you from his own wallet. If you’re do take the step to live together or get married, it’s a good idea to share a joint account for household expenses, including rent/mortgage, bills, groceries, etc. But it’s also perfectly acceptable to maintain your own personal account as well “ this will give you a sense of independence and insurance should the relationship begin to crumble.
What things do you think are better left unsaid when you start dating a new guy? Give us your tried and tested advice.
