Who Won What at the People’s Choice Awards?

Did you guys watch the People’s Choice Awards? I did, only in my heart, because I spent the evening eating borscht at a deli with one of my best pals, but wow: what a show, right?

To start, let’s see who won what, because I’m all about efficiency on this, the first Thursday of 2016.

Favourite movie: Furious 7

Favourite movie actor: Channing Tatum

Favourite movie actress: Sandra Bullock

Favourite action movie: Furious 7

Favourite action movie actor: Chris Hemsworth

Favourite action movie actress: Shailene Woodley

Favourite animated movie voice: Selena Gomez

Favourite comedic movie: Pitch Perfect 2

Favourite comedic movie actor: Kevin Hart

Favourite comedic movie actress: Melissa McCarthy

Favourite dramatic movie: The Martian

Favourite dramatic movie actor: Johnny Depp

Favourite dramatic movie actress: Dakota Fanning

Favourite family movie: Minions

Favourite thriller movie: Taken 3

But wait! There’s more:

Favourite TV show: The Big Bang Theory

Favourite network TV comedy: The Big Bang Theory

Favourite comedic TV actor: Jim Parsons

Favourite comedic TV actor: Melissa McCarthy

Favourite network TV drama: Grey’s Anatomy

Favourite dramatic TV actor: Taylor Kinney

Favourite dramatic TV actress: Ellen Pompeo

Favourite cable TV comedy: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Favourite cable TV drama: Pretty Little Liars

Favourite cable TV actor: Kevin Hart

Favourite cable TV actress: Sasha Alexander

Favourite premium cable TV show: Homeland

Favourite premium cable TV actor: Dwayne Johnson

Favourite premium cable TV actress: Kristen Bell

Favourite TV crime drama: Person of Interest

Favourite TV crime drama actor: Nathan Fillion

Favourite TV crime drama actress: Stana Katic

Favourite network TV sci-fi/fantasy show: Beauty and the Beast

Favourite cable TV sci-fi/fantasy show: Outlander

Favourite sci-fi/fantasy TV actor: Jensen Ackles

Favourite sci-fi/fantasy TV actress: Caitriona Balfe

Favourite competition TV show: The Voice

You guys done yet? Or are you thirsty for more? (Spoiler alert: you are thirsty for me. We’ve committed to this now, and so help me GOD we are going to finish it.)

Favourite daytime TV host: Ellen Degeneres

Favourite daytime TV hosting team: The Talk

Favourite late night talk show host: Jimmy Fallon

Favourite streaming series: Orange is the New Black

Favourite actor in a new TV series: John Stamos

Yes, that was actually a category. And so is this:

Favourite actress in a new TV series: Priyanka Chopra

Favourite animated TV show: The Simpsons

Favourite new TV comedy: Scream Queens

Favourite new TV drama: Supergirl

Oh, you think we’re done? You think I’m about to bring you this far without driving us home? Big mistake. Big mistake! Huge. Huge!

Favourite male artist: Ed Sheeran

Favourite female artist: Taylor Swift

Favourite group: Fifth Harmony

Favourite breakout artist: Shawn Mendes

Favourite male country artist: Blake Shelton

Favourite female country artist: Carrie Underwood

Favourite country group: Lady Antebellum

Favourite pop artist: Taylor Swift

Favourite hip-hop artist: Nicki Minaj

Favourite R&B artist: The Weeknd

Favourite album: Title by Meghan Trainor

Favourite song: “What Do You Mean?” by Justin Bieber

Favourite music icon: Madonna

And that’s it! JUST KIDDING, nope. There’s still more. That’s right. This, friends, is the longest awards show in the history of time and space and the most surprising thing about all of it is that I would’ve chosen different people to win these awards. Also surprising: that we have another category to cover, help us everyone.

Favourite social media celebrity: Britney Spears

Favourite social media celebrity: Matt Bellassai

Favourite mobile game: Candy Crush Saga (like, who accepted this?)

Favourite video game: Super Smash Bros.

Favourite YouTube star: Connor Franta

The DailyMail.com Seriously Popular award: Maddie Ziegler

So we did it. We’ve finished. We’ve gone through all the winers, and now we can all go about our days in newer, more exciting ways; pretending that we all like The Big Bang Theory and that we would in no way go, “What?!” if we’d been at the awards themselves, watching all this happen.

Also, Leslie Mann accidentally unzipped Dakota Johnson’s dress when presenting her with an award, but nothing happened, even though the Internet is for sure acting like it did. (Dakota: “Well, it’s not like nobody here already hasn’t seen my boobs.”) (She kind of rules, right?)

Now I’ll see you guys on the Internet Sunday night to watch the Globes, duh!

Tags: Anne T. Donahue, dakota fanning, People's Choice Awards

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