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Jared Leto Needs to Relax

Jared Leto needs a nap. He needs to calm down, he needs to not pass go, not collect $200, and maybe sit on a raft and float in the sea until he’s gotten his shit together and started acting like a human. Case in point: he went HAM trying to be the Joker while filming the upcoming Suicide Squad. Which meant he was really, really gross and weird.

According to recent interviews, Jared Leto acted like a fucking idiot for the duration of filming, going so far to send used condoms, anal beads, a live rat, and bullets to his coworkers and also a dead pig. (Nice!)

“I did a lot of things to create a dynamic to create an element of surprise, a spontaneity, and to really break down any kind of walls that may be there,” he said at CinemaCon. “The Joker is somebody who doesn’t really respect things like personal space or boundaries.”

Oh, really? The Joker doesn’t? Because here’s the thing about the Joker: THE JOKER ISN’T REAL.

The Joker is a fictional character. He is made up. He is from the imagination of the man who first created him. He is not real. He is a fake thing. He is a really great addition to most Batman movies (this being the exception, I’m willing to bet), but he is also not real. So when Jared Leto says he was doing all this as the Joker, he was actually doing it as a real dicktree of a man. He was just being an asshole. Seriously.

And I say this as someone who understands that some actors go full method. And that’s fine! Sure. (Like, I personally think it’s kind of bizarre because everyone’s just playing pretend, but actors don’t tell me to write, so I won’t tell actors how to act.) But I’m willing to bet that most actors don’t go to the extent of harassing their coworkers. Can you imagine going to work and doing what Jared Leto did to his cast mates? Can you imagine handing whats-her-name down the desk from you a rat? “Here you go, Marge!” you say, laughing. She begins to weep. “What?” You’re confused. “It’s just spontaneous!”

You’d probably be fired and charged.

Because the thing is, nobody signed up for whatever Jared Leto was trying to do. Like, no one. No person. No one signs up for a used condom. First, because gross. Second, because then we have to think of Jared Leto using the condom which is exactly as tragic as this whole situation to begin with. Third, because then someone has to touch it after . . . ? Like, I would pass away for sure. (And then Jared would have a lot to answer for. ) I mean, this is a garbage fire of a sitch. It’s a literal disaster. The mental picture of Will Smith sitting down in his trailer and finding a dead pig (or whatever or whoever) is grounds for destroying the film entirely because that poor pig and also did Jared Leto have to call someone and explain that he needed a pig, and also what was he supposed to do with the pig? I hate it.

So all of this is awful. Jared Leto needs to sit down and relax and realize he isn’t changing the game, he’s being the guy at work you are having meetings with HR about because dude is out of control. Put on your guitar pick necklace and take a nap, Jordan Catalano. Everybody feels uncomfortable at best.

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