WELL here's something that matters: Taylor Swift has released her second song off the forthcoming album "1989," it's called "Out of the Woods," and IT. IS. A. JAM.
Listen for yourself by clicking on this sentence.
See? SEE? Ugh Taylor, why didn't you lead with this?! Why give us "Shake It Off" — the song AND the video — instead of laying this track down and saying, "Yeah, that's what I thought, idiots." Because hello, it's a departure from "Red," sure, but it follows the very important similar mandate: fuck with Taylor Swift romantically, and she will write a song about you. This is my "All Too Well," people. This is my Yellow King. WHO IS THIS SONG ABOUT?
Well, it's about Harry Styles, duh.
First, the paper airplane necklace? That bad-boy belongs to Harry. The snowmobile accident? Her and Harry. (He hurt his chin when they were together — three guesses as to how.) THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE. This is classic Swift, albeit Swift 2.0. This isn't her standing under a bunch of dancers, twerking, surprised that this is a dance move that exists. This is Swifty as we know her best: singing about feelings and taking control of them, hard.
Will the rest of the album be like this? Should we listen to the song about 35935835 more times? Is this like Jake Gyllenhaal and the scarf? (2010 — never forget.) I do know this for sure: I want a paper airplane necklace. And I would prefer if Harry Styles gave it to me himself.