Justin Bieber is Asking Instagram to Find His Cinderella!

Justin Bieber is using social media weirdly again.

Days after he posted a second — second! — #TBT photo of ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez last week, Biebs reached out to his followers to help him find some mystery girl.

justins girlfrend

“Omg who is this!!” he captioned alongside a photo of a woman he seemed to have stumbled upon on Instagram. Fortunately for him (maybe not for her), fans identified her as Cindy Kimberly, and what will happen next we don’t know, but let me just be the first to say:

Bieber, stop it.

Stop it now.

Dude, be cool. Take a breath. What are you doing over there? Why can’t you Instagram an order of crepes like the rest of us? Why not Instagram the opening credits sequence of a TV show you’re super into? Do you have a pet? Instagram that. Instagram the shit out of it, and then whenever you’re tempted to be “risky” and/or “emotional,” you post a photo of said pet or of your outfit or of your meal or of anything but what you’ve been posting lately.

I’m serious, Bieber, I really am. You know we can see your Instagram, right? You know that millions of people can and comment on everything you’re doing, and that while all of our Internet spaces are beautiful and sacred, they are not diaries or scrapbooks or even the notes section of your phone? Tell me you know that. Give me any sign that you understand. How about this: if you understand, do not post anything weird for the next two weeks. No Selena photos, no call to arms, no “WHO IS THIS FAIR MADEN I MUST HAVE HER” posts, no #TBTs in general, just to be safe. It’ll be our special code. You stop being a weirdo, it tells me you know that it’s time to stop being a weirdo.

And I get that you’re young. I get it. But also: not that young. Like, certainly too old to ask your millions-or-so followers to ID a human being who you could probably just discreetly ask friends about like a grown-ass man. Which is another reminder: you are a grown-ass man. You have more money in your bank account than some actual countries, so you can’t hide behind youth when using social media anymore, I’m sorry. Use social media like an adult. You can drink legally. You own property. You can vote and decide government. This means you’re past asking a bunch of strangers who another stranger is. That’s what that means.

No more weird photos. No more emotional posts, please. And stop posting photos of Selena Gomez, I beg of you. I’m serious, man. Dial it down.

Tags: Anne T. Donahue, justin bieber

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