Here’s What I’d Like to See on Grey’s Anatomy

If Grey Sloan was a real hospital, it would be shut down immediately because it’s obviously just as cursed as Seattle Grace. (Seriously: did we miss an episode where somebody died and they pointed at the hospital and every staff member within it before saying, “You will pay, you will all pay?” Because Goddamn.) And proof of this will be seen on February 11 when the series returns from its winter hiatus.

In a promo released yesterday, we see Meredith Grey attacked by a patient and it’s bleak and terrible, as almost everything that happens on Grey’s Anatomy is. And honestly, guys? I can’t. I can’t anymore. I dropped out of Grey’s after the third season because it made me upset — and now, several dozen seasons later, it’s even more upsetting because these people cannot catch a break. (I mean, can you imagine hearing about all this on the news? Truly, these places are the Gotham of hospitals: WHO WOULD STAY THERE.)

So I’m here to offer some alternatives. Like sure, we see what happened in the promo, so maybe for the rest of the season, we can see these nice things happen:

– Meredith Grey goes shopping and finds a really great top on sale

– Meredith Grey goes to Starbucks and they mess up her order so they give her a new drink and then a coupon for a free one

– Meredith Grey goes to the movies and she gets the whole theatre to herself and it’s heaven

– Meredith Grey puts on one of her coats and finds $20 in the pocket from last winter

– Meredith Grey gets a parking spot right at the front on a day it’s raining really hard

– Meredith Grey gets a Soda Stream and realizes she can stop buying bottled Perrier, saving her a fortune

– Meredith Grey wins $50 on a scratch ticket

– Meredith Grey goes to a Justin Bieber concert

– Meredith Grey leaves work early because she’s tired and has earned it and needs a nap

– Meredith Grey’s drive-thru order is paid for by the person in front of her

– Meredith Grey runs into an ex-boyfriend and she looks amazing and he looks terrible, like really bad and it’s heaven

– Meredith Grey denies Facebook friendship to someone from high school she hated

– Meredith Grey tweets something great and gets a lot of likes and RTs

– Meredith Grey reads this post and I am publicly acknowledged and thanked because I am a creative genius

– Meredith Grey asks me to stop talking to and about her

Tags: Anne T. Donahue, locks

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