Everything is a disaster and our lives have been a waste: Tom Ford’s Drake lipstick sold out in like, microseconds, and now we must all live sad, deprived lives.
Literally minutes after Net-A-Porter listed the shade on their site, it sold out — and then sold out in boutiques in Chicago and New York too, according to Elle. Worse? There are no plans to restock outside of Net-A-Porter, and department stores aren’t carrying it either, apparently.
Why? Because life is terrible and unfair and obviously we’ve all done something to deserve this travesty, I guess. (Not me because I’m perfect, but one of you, for sure, is responsible for this.)
So is that it? Not necessarily: as mentioned, Net-A-Porter has promised more stock is coming soon, and eBay is currently listing the product at $80 – $200 if you’re that thirsty for Drizzy-inspired lip shades. (Which I hope no one is because you guys it’s lipstick. And this is coming from someone who once drove to America just to get Mad Men-inspired pink. Like, let’s all take a step back and dial it down.)
Especially since Drake himself — our king slash prince slash 6ix God — is keeping it light re: his monumental popularity. Taking to Instagram, he captured an image of the lipstick with “My mom bought all of them. Hey Ma.” which we can all only hope is true.
But especially me. I truly hope. Mama Graham deserves all the lipsticks, and I say this not only because I believe it from the bottom of my heart, but because I hope she will read this — with all of the lipsticks in tow — and think, “Anne T. Donahue deserves this lipstick. She truly understands my son.”
And I do, Drake’s mom, I do. I understand and appreciate Aubrey more than anyone can possibly know. Do I know all his songs by heart? No, because I am lazy. Do I own all of his OVO merch? Absolutely not, it’s all very expensive. Do I know about his personal life or his upbringing or anything outside the typical realm of Aubrey Drake Graham knowledge? No. No, because I am very busy. But I did just set my morning alarm to “Hotline Bling” and that’s got to count for something. Also, whenever anybody mentions Drake, I put my hand on my heart and say, “Aw, Drake.” As if he is my best friend because he is, and out of anybody on this planet, I deserve his new lipstick the most.
Or like, at least enough to get one. I mean, I need something, you guys, because I cannot — and I mean cannot — carry off those turtlenecks. Bless us everyone.