It happened, you guys! Time passed, and now Twitter is celebrating its tenth anniversary which is probably the most trauma-inducing sentence I’ve ever typed. (But here we are.)
Twitter is ten, so much happened, and I feel old. So to try and make sense of Twitter as the power entity it most certainly is, here are the things Twitter has done. For me personally, yes, but also for humanity.
Thank you, Twitter, for:
– That gif of Rihanna rolling up her window in disgust
– Award show tweets
– Validating me, a person whose happiness depends on the validation of others
– Introducing me to cool people
– Introducing me to people I thought were cool but turned out to be the anti-Christ
– The block button
– Keeping harassers at bay (JK you are actually quite bad at this, please fix it)
– Celebrities who can’t type to save their lives
– Celebrities who can’t communicate succinctly (or at all?)
– Celebrities who can communicate succinctly (and very well)
– Lin-Manuel Miranda in general
– Kanye West on good days
– Kim Kardashian all the time
– 65% of all memes
– Being a place everyone knows what I’m talking about when I talk about most of the shit I talk about
– “Real time”
– But not the phrase “real time” (because once in university I tried to explain what this meant, and all I ended up saying was, “It’s real . . . time . . .” before shrugging in front of 200 people)
– Making me feel very important all the time
– Making me feel hopelessly unfunny all the time (it’s a two-parter, you know?)
– ALLOWING ME TO TYPE LIKE THIS WITHOUT HAVING TO SHOUT IN A MALL
– That photo of David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian
– Pinned tweets
– The phrase, “ICYMI”
– The phrase, “ASL” (jk jk jk) (or am I?)
– Leonardo DiCaprio’s obsession with me
– The obliteration of manual RTs (RIP)
– The obliteration of my self-confidence
– That shrugging emoticon
– Whenever One Direction trends
– Justin Bieber (like, in general — because Twitter birthed him, right?)
– Snapchat (LOLOL)
– An opportunity to, on a Monday morning, write about why I like Twitter
– Even though Twitter really needs to work on its issues with harassment, I mean come on
– [Gif of Rihanna rolling up the window in disgust]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TWITTER, YOU DID IT.
