Heidi Montag has recently crawled out from under the surgeon’s lamp to reveal her new and improved self, boasting an increased number of plastic parts and tighter orifices which promise to cement her as a full-blown mannequin within the next couple years.
Claiming she’s obsessed with plastic surgery (a philosophical one, that Heidi), the Hills star took to various mediums to flaunt her appreciation for cosmetic surgeons while she sang the praises of being nearly entirely artificial “ both inside and out.
Now, I know it’s easy to make fun of Mrs. Pratt (and believe me, it is), but is anybody else waiting (or desperately hoping) for her to wake up one day and announce, Kidding! It was all a joke! “ only to reveal that it was a multi-dimensional social experiment the likes of which the world had never seen? Looking at her recent photos, she can’t actually believe she looks as good as she claims “ or has low self-esteem and a caricature of a husband devalued her self worth that much?
All in all, though we point and laugh (specifically at Speidi’s contributions to literature with How To Be Famous), we’re witness to something incredibly unfortunate as a once-attractive young woman slowly morphs into a strange being that consists entirely of plastic and chemicals. While her cat-like expression mimics her mental transparency, one can only hope she’s retained enough natural . . . anything to one day stop the madness and finally embrace her non-artificial aspects.
Heidi Montag – Before