This week’s episode showed the first out-of-Toronto escapade for the ladies: a trip to Muskoka a.k.a. “The Hamptons of Toronto,” according to Roxy. While last week’s tequila party was all the rage, this week Joan boasts why she is the queen of Muskoka and she’ll host parties to prove it. Here are the highlights from this week’s Real Housewives of Toronto.
1. The bloody procedure party is still on Roxy’s tongue as she and her “ride or die” squad (friends she’s known forever but barely speak to) bask in the sun at Lavelle. And, like anyone who wants to get to the truth, the squad shows Roxy Kara’s Instagram post where she passively aggressively said she’s about #forgiveness even without apologies, basically calling Roxy out for not saying sorry. Roxy’s response? She goes into a verbal hashtag war, quipping #moveon, #growup, #whoareyou and #noonecares. Ah, modern lexicon at its finest.
2. Joan’s Muskoka party is on everyone’s mind and as we see shots of the beautiful scenery and Joan driving her boat it’s hard not to wonder what’s to come. Joan doesn’t mess around when it comes to throwing the be all of parties, and this particular party is expected to see up to 700 people floating around. The party will also have police officers, volunteer firefighters (in case there’s an “injury”), DJs, a band and a ton of food including 800-1000 burgers, courtesy of her “chefy” Jason. “Chefy” is his super original nickname BTW.
3. Kara invites Jana to her house and the two bond over their love of maca smoothies, since they are supposed to be great for fertility and better sex. Kara notes her son refers to it as the “boner” juice, or something. While sipping Kara pleads her case as to why she would be a good matchmaker for Jana, after all she’s been married for 22 years, but soon Kara’s smiles fade when Jana brings up the tequila party. THE TEQUILA PARTY THAT KARA WASN’T INVITED TO. After Kara cries on the inside for a bit, she apologizes for her boring, full-on behaviour at the procedure party and Jana soon changes her mind from weeks prior, now saying Kara, deep down, is a “really cool, amazing chick.”
4. The attention shifts briefly to Ann who is in dire need of her seamstress because she can’t go to Muskoka without proper attire. “Everything has to be fitted” she proclaims, explaining that there’s no point in wearing clothing that doesn’t show off your body. “You never know who’s going to see you on a jet ski” is her mentality of course.
5. Roxy has a serious problem and needs to meet Ann to discuss. Apparently she was supposed to stay at Kara’s properties (three buildings, seven acres, sleeps 20 people, no biggie) in Muskoka but looks like things have changed after she receives a text from Kara asking her if she had found a hotel. It’s Kara’s revenge, but it doesn’t burn too hard as angel Ann offers Roxy a place to stay at her Muskoka shrine. Problem averted.
6. Ann steps it up even more and orders a private plane to bring Jana, Roxy and herself to Muskoka. Thing is: Ann hates flying so for a couple of minutes she freaks out while Roxy and Jana try to console her. Jana of course offers up “some relaxation tips” but Ann isn’t about doing “yoga on a plane.” When the plane lands you’d never guess Ann had any worry in the world, the three strut like runway models on the dock. Ann’s all about arriving in style.
— slice (@slice_tv) March 22, 2017
7. The time has arrived and all of the ladies are seen hugging, drinking, crowdsurfing (Grego leading the charge) and praising Joan’s incredible party. Kara leaves early because she had one sip of wine and that’s enough, Roxy tries to hide her annoyance of her while Jana, Grego and Joan get naked and skinny dip. The End.
Next week the Kara-Roxy drama continues with Kara inviting everyone to a party at her Muskoka place, but it just so happens to be on the same day as Roxy’s birthday with apparently the same theme that Roxy was planning on doing. Kara plays dumb and Roxy calls bullshit, so we shall see how that plays out. See you in a week!