Romantic comedies have gracefully covered the topic a zillion times, so why does the real-life scenario seem completely awkward? Telling your good friend that you want something more can be a daunting and delicate task. Read on for a step-by-step guide to breaking the news.
Step 1: Know what you want
The thing about this situation is that it cannot be undone. Much like toothpaste, once it’s out of the tube there is no putting it back in no matter how hard you try. Be sure that your intentions for your friend are true before you spill. You might want to ask yourself the following questions just in case: am I just worried I won’t find anyone else? Is it because I don’t want him to be with another girl? Am I settling because we have a great comfort level? If your heart cries NO to all these possibilities, then it’s time to move on to step 2.
Step 2: Break it gently
Although movies and television will teach you otherwise, when letting your pal know about your true feelings, skip the grand gesture. It is likely that it will backfire and the drama will add to the potential awkwardness of the situation. Instead, sit him down for a meaningful conversation about your feelings, concerns, and intentions for the future. This will assure him that you have seriously considered the transition.
Step 3: Prepare for rejection
Once again, Julia Roberts has failed us in that the quest for love is not always reciprocated. If you have been friends for a very long time with no flirtation, sexual tension, or any indication (from his side) of anything beyond friendship, it is time to prepare for the fact that he may not want to make the leap from regular buddies to bedroom buddies at all. If you feel you cannot go on without divulging your passion for him, by all means divulge, but do ready yourself for the fallout.
Step 4: Prepare for commitment
Assuming you sail through step 3 unscathed, and you are in fact the Julia to his Richard Gere (too retro? ok, the Julia to his Javier Bardem) then now is the time to consider whether you are ready for a true and serious commitment. Because you and your guy are already great friends, you skip dates 1 through 20-ish and move straight up the commitment ladder to bona fide couple. If you are at all in a stage where you feel you would like to date around before settling down, it might make sense to hold off on your confession for the time being.