According to statistics, approximately 63% of single men and women are involved in a “Friends with Benefits” relationship. Contrarily, only 26% of people actually believe it can work out. If you are wondering if this is the best option for you, there are several things you should be aware of before hopping into bed with a pal.
People who tend to form friend with benefits relationships are often afraid of intimacy, are more apt to have a jealous nature (which is odd considering the open relationship idea), and tend to lean towards experimentation and multiple partners. They enter these relationships under the veil of it being “safe”, with the idea if things become too emotional they have an easy exit-strategy.
While at first things can go smoothly, there is one issue that comes up 90% of the time: attachment. While sex does not always lead to intimacy, it can often form a feeling of it and can sometimes actually make it occur. This fear of intimacy is often the elephant in the room in these types of relationships, and it is usually the idea that one partner will get more attached that causes a problem in the long run.
While it does seem that women are more likely to get wrapped up emotionally, this is largely dependent on the way a woman approaches a Friends with Benefits relationship, versus the way a man does. Women focus on the friendship, men on the benefits. It takes a certain type of woman to be able to remain emotionally distant, and for most women, they lack the traits needed to keep the relationship up for long.
Men also have the propensity to become attached during a Friend with Benefits agreement, but they are more apt to pull back and run when it comes time to face their feelings. If they wanted the friends with benefits status from the start, it’s likely they are seriously concerned with avoiding any type of commitment.
Signs that they may be becoming attached usually takes form in jealousy and a dominant male body language when out with mixed company. An odd statistic revealed that although men tend to say “She’s more attached”, a survey found that they are often projecting their own feelings and fears about the situation. This is not to say it is always the case! Some men are only after the easy booty! If you want to have a successful “Friends with Benefits” relationship, the key is openness and communication, as well as a strict adherence to a set of mutually agreed upon rules. The most common topics that need to be discussed are:
1) Are you allowed to have multiple partners, or only to sleep with each other
4) Termination agreement
If you currently find yourself debating a Friend with Benefits relationship, keep in mind these statistics. Most men believe there is a 50/50 shot of Friends with Benefits developing into something more, with most seeing the status as a placeholder until something else comes along. There is also only a one in ten chance the relationship will turn into a full romance. One third of these relationships end up stopping the intimacy, yet still remain friends, and one in four ends in the termination of both the friendship and the sex. If that’s a risk you want to take, have fun, but keep in mind there’s a good chance that things can get a bit messy.