We know, when you’re dating someone new everything seems to be filled with this air of being fun and frisky and extremely hot. And because of this it is really, really easy to go from zero to naked in 30 seconds flat. But we’re here to put on the brakes and remind you that, no matter how closely your guy resembles all of Ryan Gosling’s most perfect characters rolled into one, there are some very important questions you need to discuss with your dude before things start to get down and dirty.
“Where is this relationship going?”
There is nothing worse than falling into bed with that guy that you’ve convinced yourself (after 1.5 dates) is the man of your dreams…and then waking up the next morning and he’s MIA, never to be heard from again. Unless you are looking for a super casual roll-in-the-hay (and there is nothing wrong with that if you are!), make sure that you and your partner discuss the status of the relationship before you jump into the sack and are on the same page about where your future is headed.
“Do you have protection?”
This one should be a no-brainer, unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, it isn’t always. Unless you are in a long-term, committed relationship with someone you should always be using condoms. No matter what. And no matter how much he tries to argue against it. We don’t care if he’s allergic to every form of latex known to man and you are on six different types of birth control, if he isn’t willing to protect you and himself, he’s probably a bit sketch anyway.
“Have you been tested?”
In conjunction with the last point, accidents do happen and it’s best to be prepared if they do. Maybe you slipped up or the condom slipped off or, even worse, broke all together. All of these are true scenarios that can happen to anyone and, believe us, they are terrifying. Making sure that you not only have a backup form of birth control on the go (ie. the pill), but that both you and your partner have been tested is the best way to prevent pregnancy and STIs.
“What are your sexual preferences?”
Definitely not one of the first questions you’d think to ask (and definitely one of the more awkward ones) but believe me, asking this question will pay off in the long run. Learning the things your partner likes and dislikes in the bedroom before you get in the bedroom will only help to amplify your intimacy and prevent any awkwardness or sense of rejection from slipping in to ruin the mood.
“Is this the right thing to do?”
This question can come up in all kinds of circumstances – for example, if the other person happens to be a virgin, an ex-boyfriend, a friend’s crush, your married boss, etc. Sexual connections can often be an exhilarating thing but stepping back and looking at the bigger picture before you dive in head-first never hurts. If there is even the slightest possibility that you and/or someone else might be hurt by this encounter, maybe you should seriously reconsider your choice.