We all need an ego boost every once in a while. Giving your man attention and praise in the bedroom will benefit both of you – when he’s confident in his sexual abilities, he’ll be more uninhibited in showing you his love and more likely to communicate about what you both want. Boosting his sexual confidence will actually boost yours too. Here’s how to show him the attention and praise he needs.
Be vocal. You don’t have to talk dirty or moan like a porn star, but making it evident that you’re enjoying yourself during sex will let him know he’s pleasing you. Encourage him during sex, whether it’s by simply saying “right there” or “yes” or even heavy breathing. If you’re completely quiet and unmoving, he’ll wonder what you’re thinking, which could make himself conscious and lead to performance anxiety.
Have constructive conversations about sex. Nothing is worse than something awkward happening in bed then no one saying anything afterward. The key to a great sex life is communication. Being open about what you like and what you don’t will enable him to feel more confident about his ability to please you. Be honest and uninhibited when telling him what you think he’s great at. When talking about the things you don’t like, start your sentences with “I feel” rather than “you never” or “you always”. For example, “I don’t like this position because it makes me feel insecure about my thighs / butt / hips and I can’t focus on enjoying myself.”
Handle awkward situations with grace. If he loses his erection, don’t just assume he’s nervous – this will make him feel even more inadequate. Instead, tell him that to you, the goal of sex isn’t to orgasm every time, but that you enjoy every part of it – touching his body, him touching you, etc. Take a break and do that for a while. This may take the pressure off so you can work your way up to sex. If it’s a recurring problem, talk about it outside the bedroom. Reassure him that he can be open with you about anything and everything. Articulate that you’re on his side, and you’re not interested in judging him, but helping him in any way you can. Good sex is a team effort, after all.
Reaffirm your love for him outside the bedroom. Be generous in giving him your love. Don’t be worried about appearing clingy or too full on. This is your partner – he needs to hear, regularly, that you’re every bit as into him as you were when you first hooked up. Men tend to respond to actions more so than words, so show him your love with a random act of kindness every once in a while. Massage, anyone?