The unofficial official Halloween weekend is here and I’m grateful… that it’s almost over. I hate Halloween. Like actually hate/loathe/can’t fucking stand it. I hate dressing up. I hate the pressure of trying to come up with a cool costume. I have a hard enough time trying to dress myself every day for work–I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.
So, for the better part of my adult life, I’ve actively avoided doing anything for Halloween. There have been years that I’ve gotten coerced into dressing up and going to a party and every single time, without fail, I end up uncomfortable and bored and just want to go home.
Admittedly, I don’t hate everything about Halloween. I love scary movies (even though I’m not supposed to watch them–there was an incident where I made my husband, then-boyfriend, check the shower stall for me and there’s been a moratorium on slasher flicks ever since). I love love love candy and chocolate. I love seeing people dress their little kids up in funny costumes. I love dog costumes even though my puppy isn’t into the one we got him. I like handing out candy (yes, candy, not healthy snacks) to trick-or-treaters. But oh my god I hate dressing up.
There was one Halloween back when I was in university that we my friends and I had a good group costume situation going (I was the Queen of Hearts, my friend was Alice and my boyfriend the Johnny Depp version of the Mad Hatter, complete with the makeup–it was bomb) and we had plans to go out. Of course, we made it downtown around 11pm and spent the better part of two hours walking around in the freezing cold (I should also mention that I hate being cold with every fibre of my being) trying to find a club that would let us in that late (we didn’t, by the way). The night was a bust and we basically wasted these awesome costumes that we couldn’t re-wear because we were already well into the days of social media and had naturally already posted our looks on Facebook. The night ended with sober-eating McDonald’s (something I swore I’d never do again) and watching scary movies in our very uncomfortable costumes. But, at least there was food.
I don’t remember too many Halloweens from my youth, but I imagine I was miserable walking around in the cold then too (mom, can you confirm?).
Last year my husband and I got invited to a Halloween party and went the comfy/cheap route and dressed up as Sheldon and Amy from The Big Bang Theory. I thought it was a great costume idea. Of course, when we got to the party, we were the only people really dressed up. So, that was the end of that.
This year, my dear friend who loves Halloween so very much, was giving me costume ideas to try and pep me up for the dance party she was dragging me to. I was kinda getting into it and then she and our other good friend made separate Halloween plans and I’ve never been so damn relieved in my life.
I realize how much of a buzzkill I am when someone in the office asks what I’m dressing up as. But, rest assured, I’d be an even bigger buzzkill if you had to be the one to spend time with me at a Halloween party. Let’s just say I’m doing everyone a service by staying home and watching Practical Magic.
Now, can we fast forward to November 1 so I can have my red cup and can start my annual mutli-viewing of The Holiday? Kthanks.