So You Hit a Rough Patch—3 People on Why (and How) They Stuck It Out

If you’re dating in 2017, nothing seems more elusive than a person who’s down to commit. Let’s face it, dedication takes work. We hear modern love stories and they make it sound easy, but if it were so easy we’d all be living happily ever after, wouldn’t we?

The reality is we can’t commit to brunch plans. We can’t commit 10 seconds to watching a video on Facebook. You guys, this shit is getting serious.  So, to restore our faith in love just in time for Valentine’s Day, I present you with three people who have stuck it out. They’ve been faced with the classic question should I stay or should I go? and decided to stay, for the better.

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Thomas, 31: Thomas and his girlfriend have been dating for just under two years, they met on Tinder

How long was it before you felt you could be yourself with her?

With her, it was actually pretty quick. Almost immediately. I didn’t need to put on a face for her.

So, when did the problems arise and how did you power through them?

I’m with someone who deals with anxiety and depression, and they haven’t learned to fully cope with it yet. It feels overwhelming at times, like my life would be easier if I just went my own path. I’m trying to be a certain person, one that isn’t cynical about anything and that’s more compassionate. If I love this person, that means I’m going to love her through tough parts so we come out the other side as better people.

What’s your advice for people going through a tough time?

Having open lines of communication and showing empathy and understanding is most important, I think. Without being too critical of the other person you should state how things are affecting you. Take a hard look at yourself and your own behaviour, because at the end of the day that’s all you can control. Also, take your time. Everyone wants quick fixes for everything these days. Treat your relationship like you treat yourself, as a life long project to improve. Things only work themselves out with a consistent effort over time.

Tags: avoid breaking up, boyfriend, breakups, Dating, girlfriend, long term relationship advice, Long term relationships, Relationships, serious relationship, tinder

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