Thomas, 31: Thomas and his girlfriend have been dating for just under two years, they met on Tinder
How long was it before you felt you could be yourself with her?
With her, it was actually pretty quick. Almost immediately. I didn’t need to put on a face for her.
So, when did the problems arise and how did you power through them?
I’m with someone who deals with anxiety and depression, and they haven’t learned to fully cope with it yet. It feels overwhelming at times, like my life would be easier if I just went my own path. I’m trying to be a certain person, one that isn’t cynical about anything and that’s more compassionate. If I love this person, that means I’m going to love her through tough parts so we come out the other side as better people.
What’s your advice for people going through a tough time?
Having open lines of communication and showing empathy and understanding is most important, I think. Without being too critical of the other person you should state how things are affecting you. Take a hard look at yourself and your own behaviour, because at the end of the day that’s all you can control. Also, take your time. Everyone wants quick fixes for everything these days. Treat your relationship like you treat yourself, as a life long project to improve. Things only work themselves out with a consistent effort over time.
