Jessica, 32: Jessica and her boyfriend met three years ago on Tinder
Describe the beginning of your relationship
When we first met I hadn’t been in a serious relationship for four years but he had just experienced a pretty bad heartbreak. We only ever dated each other off of Tinder, we’re both fairly traditional in that way and couldn’t date more than one person at a time. Within two months of dating, our communication stopped, he became distant and it got to a point where we weren’t talking at all. It continued that way for the next few months, on and off talking until I reached my breaking point.
Did you ever find out why?
He was vulnerable, having just gone through a very rough break-up, and felt he wasn’t ready for something serious. Whether, he liked it or not he became attached to me, he’d developed feelings and didn’t want to admit it to himself. We were only broken up for under a month when he asked that I give him another chance.
Why’d you take him back and how have you learned from one another since?
He was a real gentleman. He valued me, he paid attention to detail. He wanted to get to know 100 per cent of me. I knew he was going through a hard time and had to learn to trust people again. There are certain qualities we both bring to the table. I’m hotheaded so he’s taught me to really think before I speak and argue calmly, to respect one another. He’s learned that there are trust-worthy people with his best interests in mind.
What advice would you give to people out there searching?
Sometimes things don’t work out perfectly in the beginning, you forego the honey moon stage and get to see a person for who they are right away. You have to be yourself right from the start. The bumps in the beginning taught me that life doesn’t have an agenda, love doesn’t have an agenda. Love isn’t a goal and shouldn’t be cultivated.
