First dates are nerve-wracking for everyone “ between preventive strategies for inevitable silences, and making sure you’re eyeliner stays put, you have to be witty and charming and charismatic? It’s a wonder anyone ever gets through a first date alive. If you happen to be particularly shy, here are 6 tips to help you deal.
1. Be yourself.
Even though this seems like the most perplexing advice anyone ever gives, it’s totally the best. You (and your friends) already know you rock, and there’s no better way to prove this to your date than by simply being yourself. No more, no less. When you speak from the heart, you can’t say anything wrong.
2. Pick a place you’re comfortable.
If you have to trek all the way across town to some dive bar you’ve never heard of, all the while making sure your bangs stay under control, chances are you’ll be likely to want to bail at the bus stop. If this guy is a true gent, he won’t mind meeting at a spot of your choosing.
3. Plan out some talking points.
If you know he’s into an obscure TV show you also like, or you share a favourite comic, stash it away to bring up on the date. Come equipped with some questions to ask him. Creating conversations where you can really connect are the best part of a date “ and if you get him talking, the pressure will be taken off you a bit.
4. Don’t worry that he’ll think you’re boring if you’re not talking the whole time.
If you’re shy, you’re probably not likely to be bubbling with hilarious anecdotes on the first date. That’s totally fine. Worrying that he’ll judge you for it will make things even worse. Accept that you’re nervous, (he probably is, too), and when the time comes, bust out your awesome questions. A flippant compliment here and there doesn’t hurt either.
5. Lower your expectations.
For the date itself, that is. Don’t go into it thinking that he’s expecting to fall in love, or that you need to fall in love with him. You’re just two people who are planning on spending a couple hours together. Maybe you’ll dig each other; maybe you’ll make a friend. Who knows. Be open minded and take the pressure off yourself “ it’s all in your head, after all.
6. Have an out.
Have a friend on backup to call you with an emergency if you feel like you seriously feel like you can’t get through another minute of your Caesar and banter with this guy. Just knowing you’re not alone in this will help a lot, even if you don’t need to use it.