Whether or not your sex life is screaming for an upgrade, try these 10 ideas to make sex even hotter.
Read aloud to each other
You've heard it before: your biggest erogenous zone is your brain. Reading out loud to each other can jump start your desire. Get your hands on some Anais Nin – she's the real erotic lit deal – and she's especially awesome if you tend to cringe when you hear super flowery and / or graphic descriptions of foreplay.
Give each other massages
Skin on skin contact increases the release of your feel-good hormone oxytocin. The more of that is released, the more desire you'll feel. The more you let that desire build up, the better.
Do it sober
Why do 5 out of 10 women prefer drunk sex to sober sex? "Alcohol inhibits our GABA–a neurotransmitter in the brain which is like a damper," says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD and author of Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. "It lifts off that heavy blanket, and it tends to affect the frontal part of our brain, concerned with reason and rational judgments." Alas, while it may be easier to hook up with someone when you don't care what they might think, you also miss out on the entire act. It's also worth knowing that initially, alcohol increases your libido, but it also decreases lubrication. Drunk sex may equal very dry sex. Ugh. Don't hit the sauce before hitting the sheets – that's some real social lubrication.
It's believed that the inhalation of essential oils stimulated the part of the brain connected to smell (the olfactory system). Chemicals are released to make you feel relaxed / calm / stimulated. According to prevention.com cucumber, licorice, and baby powder have proven to increase vaginal blood flow by 13%.
A study at UBC proved that mindfulness meditation exercises increased women's relaxation and sexual desire. "Mindfulness can directly change brain processing and allow women to experience arousal more acutely," says study coauthor Lori Brotto, PhD. Do it slow. Be present for every minute. Don't know how to "silence your mind?" Check out these tips for meditation on the go.
After a half an hour of cardio, the endorphins in your body are flowing, your blood is circulating, your nervous system is firing. That's a ready-made recipe for good sex (if you don't mind some serious sweat). We suggest round two in the shower.
Do it missionary
We know – totally wild, non? The truth is, you don't need to stretch your body like gumby for mind blowing sex. Keep it simple. Vanilla sex can be awesome. If it transpires into more, great. If not, that's probably pretty great too.
Start foreplay before you get home
Sneak away and kiss. Whisper in your partners' ear. Knowing you're desired is a turn on for everyone.
Love your body
Being self conscious about your body doesn't just put a damper on your sex life. It could stop you from being confident in all areas of your life. It may sound simple, but loving your body is anything but. Everywhere we look, women's bodies stand in as representations of sex. The idea that we have to look a certain way is pushed on us constantly. Leave those misconceptions out of your bedroom and focus on your senses.
Do it yourself
Make your own bucket list of specific things you want to do. Get educated about sex. Scour blogs and books and explore what turns you on. Invite your partner.