Is He Using You?

Ever wonder if your guy is using you? It might be something he says, or does, or even just a feeling you get out of the blue. Usually a girl can spot pretty quickly when a guy is just dating her because he wants something, but even the savviest woman can sometimes be blinded by love (or lust.) Below are some warning signs that your guy may be using you.

No future talk

He never wants to make, or talk about, long term plans, whether it’s planning a vacation six months from now or talking about living together, marriage, or any other type of future.  Not being willing to discuss future plans may be a sign he is using you.

Feeling like a bill collector

Or a telemarketer “ meaning that as soon as he gets on the phone with you, he is trying to get off.  Or he begins to avoid your call completely “ sending you directly to voice mail when you call, or not answering when you’re sure he has his phone with him.

Always paying

This seems like an obvious sign but it can sneak in when you’re not paying attention. The excuses can be so varied that you’re not even really aware what’s happening “ he forgot his credit care/debit card/wallet, he took money out of the bank and left it on the counter, he forgot he was meeting you and didn’t bring any money. Take a peek at your bank balance and see if it is suffering from your relationship. Be especially wary about him using you if he asks you to loan him money or use your credit cards!

Sex has changed

Either he has lost interest completely, or has a sudden interest in trying, um, unusual things.  If you feel like you have become a boy toy or a platonic friend instead of a loving partner to your guy, he may be using you. A drastic change in sexual behavior is a definite warning sign.

No gifts

If he never remembers birthdays and never gives any gifts, whether it is Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other holidays, this may be a sign he is using you. Often his excuses will be elaborate, accompanied by promises of greater things, but a guy who can’t even pick up a bouquet of flowers for your birthday may just be using you.

He’s a man of mystery

If you never really know where he is or what he is doing when you’re not together, he may be using you. He may even have another relationship. If he is vague about where he is, and not eager to be in contact when you are apart, don’t be afraid to be curious. This also holds true if he has a pager or cell phone that he is very secretive about.  

Picking fights about nothing

If your guy is always picking fights about trivial things, this may be a sign he is using you. A guy who is constantly looking for reasons to argue, fight, storm out or yell is not exactly in it for the relationship. Be very wary of him using you.

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Tags: being used, is he using you, user relationship, user signs, user warning signsi, using boyfriend, using guy

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    “Usually a girl can spot pretty quickly when a guy is just dating her because he wants something, but even the savviest woman can sometimes be blinded by love (or lust.)”
    This comment is laughable. Most women are attracted to the type of guy that is a user. He is smooth, confident, sexy (*because he has developed a method that works). They willingly (unwillingly?) fall for these douche-bags over and over again. Even when they realize they have been duped – they seem to cling to the idea that they can change them. As I genuine nice guy, I see it happen to my female friends time and time again.
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    “Usually a girl can spot pretty quickly when a guy is just dating her because he wants something, but even the savviest woman can sometimes be blinded by love (or lust.)”
    This comment is laughable. Most women are attracted to the type of guy that is a user. He is smooth, confident, sexy (*because he has developed a method that works). They willingly (unwillingly?) fall for these douche-bags over and over again. Even when they realize they have been duped – they seem to cling to the idea that they can change them. As I genuine nice guy, I see it happen to my female friends time and time again.

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