You love him madly, you think about him all the time, and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
There’s just one problem: you’re not sure if he’s thinking beyond next week and it’s driving you crazy. It’s been two years and you’re blissfully happy together.
The only difference is that you fantasize about finally making it official, while he’d likely be happy to maintain the status quo for another 60 years.
There are loads of reasons that keep a guy from taking the plunge “ here are some of the big ones:
He can’t afford it
Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but man, are they are expensive. Many men are old-fashioned: they don’t want to pop the question until they feel finally stable and confident. He may be waiting until he’s flush enough to present you with the blingiest bauble and until he can recite the words for richer or poorer without choking.
The timing isn’t right
We all know that women are far more successful at multi-tasking. Is he focused intently on a singular goal right now? If he’s still pushing through his degree or has just started his dream job, he may not have the time and energy to think about marriage right now.
Give him some time to settle into what he’s doing “ after all, he’s laying the foundation for your life together.
He’s afraid of commitment
If he’s simply afraid of commitment, he may never ask you to marry him. And if you want to get married, you’ve got a problem. Try broaching the subject carefully when the two of you are having a relaxing moment together, maybe after a nice dinner or during a walk on a beautiful day. He may be willing to work on his fear, or maybe not.
The only way to find out is committing to discussing it together.
He doesn’t want to marry you
This reality can be shattering, but you’ve got to at least consider it. If you’ve been through the talks and worked through all of the possibilities and something is still holding him back, it may be time for some brutal honesty.
Better to know now than to spend years waiting for a proposal that’s never going to come.
Are you worried that he’ll never propose? Will you stay put and wait, or is it time to move on? Let us know how you feel.
-On that note, I am going to go watch ‘He’s just not that into you’ and eat some ice cream to drown my sorrows.
Also, he is in a successful traveling band. So in the back of my head I am thinking that he’s traveling around trying to find something better. What do I do???
Also, he is in a successful traveling band. So in the back of my head I am thinking that he’s traveling around trying to find something better. What do I do???
What is it that you want marriage for? What will it change for you? Married people still split up so it doesnt always go that your relationship will become more secure just because you are married!
In my humble opinion – dump him and move on. Sometimes guys don’t make decisions like this until they’re faced with the alternative – life without you. Don’t dump him just to try to get him to commit, but you might be surprised at his reaction.
In your next relationship – and there will be one, as you at least think of yourself as “dating material” – you don’t need to go into it expecting a ring on the first date, but within the first year is reasonable.
You don’t say your age, but after about the age of 30, guys know that you need to get married or move on quickly. If you are over 30, and you do start a new relationship, I’d say re-set the clock and give it a fresh year.
This isn’t you – it’s a guy thing. If it was you, he wouldn’t have stayed for four years.
K-Wyoming
What is it that you want marriage for? What will it change for you? Married people still split up so it doesnt always go that your relationship will become more secure just because you are married!
In my humble opinion – dump him and move on. Sometimes guys don’t make decisions like this until they’re faced with the alternative – life without you. Don’t dump him just to try to get him to commit, but you might be surprised at his reaction.
In your next relationship – and there will be one, as you at least think of yourself as “dating material” – you don’t need to go into it expecting a ring on the first date, but within the first year is reasonable.
You don’t say your age, but after about the age of 30, guys know that you need to get married or move on quickly. If you are over 30, and you do start a new relationship, I’d say re-set the clock and give it a fresh year.
This isn’t you – it’s a guy thing. If it was you, he wouldn’t have stayed for four years.
K-Wyoming