Loving Your Body Improves Your Sex Life

Super quick and effective sex tip: love your bodyFocusing on your senses, being present, and having fun with your partner is a pretty simple recipe for good sex but it works. None of that includes being hung up on the way you look. Loving your body seems simple, but it's not easy to do. Everywhere we look, images of women's bodies stand in as representations of sex. The idea that we have to look a certain way to "be sexy" is thrust on us in magazines, shows, storefront posters … Do yourself a favour and leave those public misconceptions out of your sex life, whether you want the lights on or off. Here are 3 reasons. 

Focus on senses

"Being sensual" doesn't have as much to do with being visual as we're led to believe. Sight is just one of the senses that's stimulated during sex and during attraction. When you're preoccupied with how you look, you neglect to feel what's happening with all the others – sound, touch, taste, smell. It minimizes your enjoyment to one tiny focus and cuts off everything else you could be aware of.

Be present

The goal of mindfulness training is to see and accept things the way they are. When you're mindful, you're in a state of non reactive, non judgemental awareness. Being mindful lets you accept your thoughts and feelings without getting hung up on them. The result is, you can pay attention to what you're doing in the preset. Don't let a redundant internal dialogue get you down, or else you'll miss the entire encounter worrying about something unrelated. 

Just you and your partner

When the idea of "should" enters your sex life, whether you're thinking about what your body should look like or what good sex should need to exist, it's no longer just you and your partner in the bedroom. Comparing yourself to anyone else doesn't do anything to make sex better. The idea of what's sexy is fluid – it changes across cultures and times. What "sexiness" looks like changes according to fashion, which thrives on sales. It has to be unattainable in order for people to buy into it. Just focus on what you think is sexy, and be true to it

Tags: anxiety, appearance, avoiding sex, bedroom moves, best sex, body image, confidence improves sex, romance, sex life, sex tips

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  1. Avatar
    • Heidi
    • August 7, 2013
    Nice article; TERRIBLE fail with the accompanying photo. You publish an article about loving your body, and how you shouldn’t feel like you have to look like a supermodel in order to feel sexy. But the photo is of a 90-pound supermodel type. Is that supposed to be encouraging? Are we supposed to identify with that? Of course SHE loves her body. She has the only body we are ever told over and over again is worth loving.

    This strikes me: “What ‘sexiness’ looks like changes according to fashion, which thrives on sales. It has to be unattainable in order for people to buy into it.”

    You used that thumbnail next to the link for this article. Because if you used a “real” body, people wouldn’t click. Right? Unbelievable.

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