Super quick and effective sex tip: love your body. Focusing on your senses, being present, and having fun with your partner is a pretty simple recipe for good sex but it works. None of that includes being hung up on the way you look. Loving your body seems simple, but it's not easy to do. Everywhere we look, images of women's bodies stand in as representations of sex. The idea that we have to look a certain way to "be sexy" is thrust on us in magazines, shows, storefront posters … Do yourself a favour and leave those public misconceptions out of your sex life, whether you want the lights on or off. Here are 3 reasons.
Focus on senses
"Being sensual" doesn't have as much to do with being visual as we're led to believe. Sight is just one of the senses that's stimulated during sex and during attraction. When you're preoccupied with how you look, you neglect to feel what's happening with all the others – sound, touch, taste, smell. It minimizes your enjoyment to one tiny focus and cuts off everything else you could be aware of.
The goal of mindfulness training is to see and accept things the way they are. When you're mindful, you're in a state of non reactive, non judgemental awareness. Being mindful lets you accept your thoughts and feelings without getting hung up on them. The result is, you can pay attention to what you're doing in the preset. Don't let a redundant internal dialogue get you down, or else you'll miss the entire encounter worrying about something unrelated.
Just you and your partner
When the idea of "should" enters your sex life, whether you're thinking about what your body should look like or what good sex should need to exist, it's no longer just you and your partner in the bedroom. Comparing yourself to anyone else doesn't do anything to make sex better. The idea of what's sexy is fluid – it changes across cultures and times. What "sexiness" looks like changes according to fashion, which thrives on sales. It has to be unattainable in order for people to buy into it. Just focus on what you think is sexy, and be true to it.