“You’re out of frame,” I told my boyfriend. “I can’t SEE anything except your elbow.” I was in India, he was at home in Canada, and that was how we had sex… via Skype video chat. Hey, it was better than nothing. And in truth, it was better than “better than nothing.” It was hot and steamy…even more so when we managed to keep our naked parts on camera.
While most of us wouldn’t choose to be physically distant from a partner, in this golden age of the Internet, a relationship may be found and nurtured despite geographical differences. So whether you’re across the globe or just out of your lover’s reach, read on for sexy secrets to keeping it fresh when you can’t share a bed (or even a hug).
Use your biggest sex organ (your brain)
Being unable to touch each other can put a damper on intimacy. But sexual encounters really begin in the mind anyway. Instead of fixating on your loneliness, get sexually cerebral. Use that big sexy noggin of yours to find ways to give and receive pleasure. Try reading some erotica out loud to each other, or better yet, write your lover a steamy sexually explicit story.
It’s likely that you won’t be spending hours communicating live – especially if there are time zone differences. So whatever time you do have, don’t kill the mood by whining about how hard it is to be apart. Dwelling on the negative is a sure-fire mojo killer. This doesn’t mean it isn’t important to express how you’re feeling…Open, honest communication is key to a long-distance relationship; just don’t let the subject take over the whole conversation.
Be a little theatrical
Lingerie looks fantastic on Skype and Facetime. Look for bold prints and striking colours (most small details won’t show up on camera). Have fun and pick up some pieces that aren’t practical to wear underneath a dress for date night – you can skip the dress altogether for a video call with your lover. Why not try a naughty nurse costume or a brightly coloured see-through negligee and sky high heels? Bonus points if you choreograph a little routine (pro tip: practice recording it ahead of time so you can get the best angles for your strip tease).
Treat yourself…and each other
Sex toys have come a long way. Surprise your lover with a package in the mail, and incorporate your sexy accessories into your video dates. You can even get your guy to clone his penis…yes, really, and send you a vibrating copy.
Don’t break your dates
While it may be tempting to postpone your remote rendez-vous… don’t. Only change plans if you would actually do so in the real world. If something comes up that is so important you’d forgo dinner at your favourite restaurant for it, then that’s acceptable. If you’re cancelling because you’ve been on your laptop all day and you have a headache, you’re jeopardizing your connection.
LIke all types of relationships, there are going to be ups and downs. What makes long distance relationships unique is the physical distance can make the lows seem to last longer. Take the time to reassure each other of your love and lust. Use the technology available to keep your connection strong. Forgive yourself for not always having things figured out, and above all, accept that it’s going to be tough sometimes.
About Katrina McKay
Katrina is CEO & the resident “sexpert” at Ohhh Canada, Canada’s most fashionable, flirty and friendly store for all things sexy. At her sold-out workshops around the world, Katrina talks about love, lust and sex in an open and playful way that makes audiences feel at ease. When she isn’t gallivanting around the globe, she is also working on her forthcoming book and regularly appears on the radio, on tv and in print.