How to Text & Not Look Like a Stalker

Communicating with the person you’re crushing on is hard enough. The added complications of technology make dating even harder. Plus, everyone has a different relationship with their phone – where some people check it compulsively, others forget it at their house and don’t even care. If you don’t know him well, you have no idea what kind of a texter he is. But this shouldn’t stop you from exchanging some flirty messages. Just don’t let yourself go bonkers about it. Here’s how.

Reading into a text too much will make you literally read something that isn’t there at all. When men text, it tends to be all business. To most of them, their phone is a tool. They often just want to know the time, the place, where you’ll meet. That’s it. More often than not, women will text for entertainment purposes. This is a huge difference between men and women (although very generalized), that causes us to text a lot differently.

Humour doesn’t travel well via text. You want to be witty, but you don’t want him to totally misinterpret what you’re saying. It’s risky, and you have to be careful. As a general rule, steer clear of sarcasm. If you must, stick in a smiley face or haha.

Giving him time limits in your mind is a really, really bad idea. Not only is this not fair to him (how the heck is he supposed to know you expect a text back within an hour or less?) but it will absolutely make you crazy. You don’t need that. Putting yourself out there when you really like someone is hard enough.

Don’t get down on yourself if he doesn’t return your text in 5 minutes. A longer wait could mean he’s thinking of a worthy response, after all. Text as if he won’t respond. If you’re unsure about sending a text, ask yourself how you’d feel if you knew he wouldn’t text you back after. If you’d feel terrible, end the conversation or switch up your message.

Don’t talk about anything that matters via text. Period. Just save yourself the craziness and keep it for face to face or the phone. Talking about feelings with character limits is impossible.