Unicorns. Mermaids. Fairies. Soul mates.
Is one of these things not like the other?
For me, I’ve never really believed in the idea of soul mates — the notion that one person is meant for you romantically and who can fulfill you on all levels. Call me a skeptic, but while the idea sounds romantic in theory, I just don’t buy it.
Throughout my life I’ve been gifted with a handful of loves. The first real love of my life was my maternal grandmother, my bubby Lola. She outlived my mom and didn’t pass away until the age of 96 (and a half!) and we were connected in a way I can never fully articulate. I then shared a similar connection with one of my nephews, Emmett, who “ at four years old “ became my best friend and kindred spirit.
Romantically over the past 15 years, I’ve had a handful of great loves, each one very different from the next. Each love has shaped me into the person I am today, but I wouldn’t describe any of them as a “soul mate” kind of love. I see a romantic soul mate as someone who accepts you for your real, authentic self on all levels and platitudes. Whose soul literally gets yours and connects to it, without words or anything other than a deep-rooted feeling and understanding. The One in the year of 2017 seems crazy to me, but I’d like be proven wrong.
I mean, just because I haven’t experienced a soul mate in a romantic realm, doesn’t mean they don’t exist, right? That would just be naé¯ve to think. And like every other breathing, loving soul out there, I’d like nothing more than to believe.
To try to get my head around the fact that this type of bond exists, I reached out to Amber Joliat, a soulful human being and the creator of Toronto-based MISFITSTUDIO. I first met Amber when she taught the most magical yoga practice and I was immediately drawn to — and transfixed by — her palpable energy. I remember her speaking of her then partner (now husband) Nik Timar and just felt something in my heart for them: how she lit up as she described him, how she supported all his endeavours, how supportive he appeared to be (thanks Instagram!) The energy that came out of her when she was talking about him was something I had never seen before. And seeing them in a room together you can’t help but stare, in the same sort of way as when you see an A-list celebrity couple.
They wed at the end of September of this year, and to this day, they still remain my favourite couple. Married my soul mate today, Timar posted on his Instagram.
This is what Amber had to say about soul mates: I believe in love. A love that sees you for you, in all possible dimensions elements/ ways/ stages/ highs/ lows and encourages you to be the best version of yourself — your authentic real self. I believe this type of love arrives at the precise moment you are open and ready for it. It is simply to love and be loved, says Joliat. I believe we have many soul mates. They surface truth, feed you with inspiration and can stir up powerful life lessons. Connection is the key factor and this requires open pathways of energy from both people; sometimes this connection can be lost, or fizzle or fade away over time. Or, become deeper and richer and more vibrant.”
And according to healer and soul therapist Vanessa Faria, soul mates are in fact real, and something we should aspire to. From my work with past life regression therapy clients, I have seen people connect to their soul mates of many previous lifetimes. Faria describes “soul mates” as souls that we have had prior connections and deep relationships with from other lifetimes here on Earth, and even other dimensions. We travel with similar souls throughout our incarnations.
She tells me that she’s learned with past life regression that we have a primary, secondary and tertiary soul group. When we find someone in our primary or secondary soul groups, the connections we make are unparalleled with a deep sense of familiarity. Characteristics like instant chemistry, understanding each other, strong telepathy, and similar interests or stories are very common. However, she emphasizes that soul mate relationships and dynamics can take on many forms such as brother-sister, mother-daughter and more. They are not only limited to romantic partnerships, as some believe.
The more people I talk to, the more I realize that there might be something to this soul mate notion. It reminds me of the Yiddish word “Bashert.” I grew up in a traditional, Jewish home and the one wish my parents (and every parent in my community) wishes for their children is Bashert. The word refers to finding someone’s destined life partner. This is how Wikipedia describes bashert: In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly
There’s no way to prove whether or not they exist. It just comes down to believing and being open to the possibility. We attract what we put out, and if you can have a love that’s authentic and deeply rooted and seems destined, then I’m all for it.