You’ve been casually dating for a few months and before you know it, the topic comes up. Commitment. It doesn’t really matter who initiated the conversation, but the fact that it came up means it’s time to do some thinking. How do you know if and when you are ready to take a casual fun thing and move it to commitment city?
Are you comfortable being by yourself?
Sure, on the surface, this may appear to be in direct contradiction to the overall point, but in order to be successful in a relationship, you need to enjoy being with yourself first. And we don’t mean, are you okay hanging out watching TV on your own for an hour. We mean, can you spend the day on your own “ grab a bite to eat, check out the latest exhibit at the art gallery, catch a movie “ and have fun? If you’re there, you’re likely on the right track to being ready for a relationship. If not, get to know yourself and enjoy who you are.
Speaking of enjoying who you are, do you like yourself?
You need to if you are going to allow another to love you and love you well. It all links back to self-esteem and well, nothing is more important than that if you are considering a long term commitment with someone.
Have you lived alone?
If not, try it before you jump into a commitment. Living alone teaches you independence, how to rely on yourself and be self sufficient. You learn how to problem solve on your own too when your fridge conks out or the toilet starts making weird noises in the middle of the night. Your problem solving abilities you develop from this experience will put you on the right path to a very successful relationship.
Do you have your own life?
Your own group of friends, career path and family life? It’s important you have these well in place and maintain this if you’re thinking of getting into a relationship. It keeps you grounded and well rounded on a whole. Besides, nothing is more attractive then a person who has their own set of interests and goals.
This generally comes through experience of having gone through relationships and the ups and downs of life. Do you feel as though you have the emotional intelligence to relate to someone with compassion and can walk in their shoes if need be? Two important skills that will keep your relationship healthy and running smoothly.