Juggling a love life with a career isn’t always easy, especially as the internet makes it easier than ever for us to always be connected. Smartphones can be used to check both work emails and messages from your partner. Facebook can be used to chat with both loved ones and colleagues. Because we’re so connected, it’s more important than ever to draw a line between the personal and professional.
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to keep your work and home lives separate. Here are some common problems encountered by professionals who are looking to date and how to solve them.
How does work impact on relationships?
Whatever job you have, some days will always be better than others. If you’ve had a particularly gruelling day, you may feel more like curling up on the sofa than getting dressed up to go looking for love. This can make it harder to meet people in the first instance, especially if your job involves working particularly long or anti-social hours. Online dating is increasingly popular for this reason – you can still use sites to find love even if you don’t feel up to going out. There are a huge selection of online dating sites to try. If you’re really low on time, sites such as eHarmony have guided communication options which makes sending that first message quick and simple.
If you’re in a relationship, it can still feel hard to keep the personal and professional separate. If you’ve had a hard day, it’s normal to want to let off steam. However, if your partner has also had a tough time, they may not be receptive to your stress. Understanding that work will always impact on how we feel, even when we’re away from the office, can go a long way to resolving conflicts between ourselves and our loved ones.
What if you hate your job?
There’s nothing more exhausting than hating your job. Not only do you have to find a way to get through the eight (or more) hours of work every day but your feelings can spill over into the rest of your life. Being resentful of your job can leave you feeling tired, irritable and unhappy – none of which will help you when it comes to finding love.
While a relationship will not be able to magically fix the parts of your life that you’re not so fond of, having a partner can help you to regain focus on the things that you would like for yourself. When you have someone around who has your best interests at heart, they can help you to make decisions which will change your life for the better. Therefore, you don’t necessarily have to put your search for love on hold just because you’re not happy at work.
It might help to think about which aspects of your job are causing you the most stress. Are you unable to focus on certain tasks or do you frequently clash with colleagues? If you have children, it may also be hard to juggle their care. Even things like your physical working environment can impact on your mood. Try to look at small ways you can make changes to lighten the load at work. Even something simple such as switching desks or changing your working hours slightly could make a big difference.
Can workaholics find love?
While hating your job can certainly spill over into the rest of your life, being wedded to the office can have a similar effect. Having a successful career can provide a great deal of personal satisfaction, however it can become increasingly hard to keep personal and professional matters separate. Long hours, late meetings and unexpected commitments can all crop up when we’re devoted to our careers – so how can we make sure that we still have time for dating?
Some people feel that their career will always come first – any love interest they meet will need to accept that or move on – but for most of us, it’s not so simple. We may already be juggling families, friends and hobbies as well as work and something’s got to give. The key to balancing a successful career with a love life is prioritising – and this doesn’t have to mean sacrificing anything.
If both your partner and your colleagues know how important they are to you, it’ll be less difficult to explain when you have to take a day off for your partner or cancel a date to work late. It is possible to balance both lives successfully, as long as you’re honest. If everyone knows where they stand, you can prioritise your commitments without giving anything up.
Do you prefer the office to date night?
If you’re regularly cancelling dates because of work or putting off looking for love because you’re always busy at the office, there could be something else going on. Being 100% committed to your job means you can avoid even trying to find a relationship and save yourself all of the complications which may arise.
There are lots of reasons why we may feel wary about looking for love: fear of rejection, risk or emotional exhaustion are just a few. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that you simply don’t have time for a relationship than to try and put yourself in a position where you could find one. If you’re already in a relationship, hiding behind work is also a good way to avoid questioning whether your current partner is right for you. If you’re avoiding asking yourself difficult questions when it comes to love, it might be time to find out why.
How to keep love alive when you work from home
Working from home might sound like a dream come true for many, however it presents its own challenges which can impact on dating or being in a relationship. When you don’t have the boundaries in place which are provided by a normal working environment, it can be easy to let your work spill over into your personal life.
If you’re juggling childcare and other commitments, you may already have a working pattern which works for you. However, going on regular dates can take up time and it’s worth thinking about how you can give yourself a bit of leeway. If you don’t already have a weekly working schedule, it might be time to set one up. Having a 5pm deadline every day can really help you to prioritise your work in order to give yourself extra time in the evenings. If your evenings are fully committed, can you spare an extra hour during the day for a lunch date?
Working from home also means that your work can literally take over your home environment. Having a designated office space in your home can really help with this, even if it’s just a desk in a corner. Being able to shut away files and folders will help you to relax when you’re not working and give you space to focus on the things that you enjoy.
Why is a work/life balance so important?
Nowadays we have more methods than ever to help us to achieve more in a smaller amount of time. However, we still have limitations as humans and it’s important to recognise this for our own wellbeing. If you’re trying to fit too much into your working day, something else will have to bear the brunt and it could be your relationship.
Setting boundaries is a useful way to give equal attention to all of the things which are important to you. As well as leaving work at a reasonable time and having enough time for your relationship, simple things such as getting enough sleep and cutting back on unhealthy food can all contribute to a good work/life balance. If you feel healthy and content, it’s easier not to push yourself too hard.
When it comes to looking for love, it’s a good idea to develop interests and hobbies which are separate to work and family. Valuing yourself and allowing yourself time to do things you enjoy are key to being in the right frame of mind for a relationship.
The daily grind
Whichever way you look at it, the daily 9-5 grind will take its toll on any relationship. When you’re tired or stressed, it’s harder to make time to have fun with your partner – which is why it’s so important. Coming up with fun ideas for dates, surprising your partner or going the extra mile to make them happy can all help to keep things interesting and stop you from getting bored with each other.
It’s also important to listen to each other when things get tough. Arguments which start off about small things can easily spiral out of control if one or both partners are dealing with external pressures. If you feel pressured to put on a brave face about a job you hate or to keep quiet when you want to share your feelings, your relationship will face difficulties. Being honest and open with each other can help to dispel any tension which could build up over time.
The future?
There’s also no reason to think that you will always be stuck in the same routine. Once you’re in a serious relationship, you can start to think creatively about your professional lives. Starting a business together, moving abroad or supporting each other to pursue new careers are all options which will be open to you. Being able to keep these opportunities in mind will help you to come up with plans together and feel less fenced in by your current job.
Spot on, Sara Kooner. Great article with obvious understanding of the subject. Continue to do a great job!
Very good article. Love your work and live your life.
that’s right. Thanks for article.